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Alex Rodriguez is scheduled to return to the Yankees next season, with three years and more than $60 million remaining on his contract. Credit Uli Seit for The New York Times
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In a million years, in a million baseball seasons, I never would have dreamed I’d ever say this: I feel sorry for the Yankees.

But, thanks to the disgraced and despicable Alex Rodriguez, that time has come.

Any team that has to deal with Rodriguez and all of his drug-laden baggage could use some sympathy, especially now that Rodriguez is back to annoy everyone again, fresh off his record 162-game drug suspension.

Poor Yankees. This past season, the franchise with enough World Series rings to bejewel a small army failed to make the playoffs for the second straight year. For a team whose fans expect championships on a steady basis, this little drought might as well be 119 years. It’s a solemn time for the Yankees, and they need some peace and quiet to reflect, and to figure out how to win again.

But Rodriguez didn’t get that memo. Basically, he has returned playing the cymbals, ready to put on the pinstripes again for a team that needs no part of him or his noise but that now has to deal with a whole new set of drug revelations involving the onetime slugger.

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Timeline

Rodriguez: A Continual Stir

Since Alex Rodriguez broke into the majors in 1996, he has been unable to escape the bizarre and controversial stories that seem to follow him on and off the field, the latest involving performance-enhancing drugs.

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So what do the Yankees do with Rodriguez, who has become the lead of a comedy so dark and wrong that you feel guilty for watching it? He is a player who lied about his steroid use, then admitted it (2009), then publicly said he was absolutely clean (2013-present) — it’s a witch hunt, he declared — and then turned around to privately testify to federal agents that why, yes, he had used drugs, a lot of drugs, in recent years, and thanks for asking.

After a nasty public battle with Major League Baseball, which initially barred him for 211 games in connection with the Biogenesis of America case, Rodriguez has seen the light, but only because federal prosecutors held a torch above him.

Those prosecutors granted Rodriguez immunity in their investigation of Anthony Bosch and his Biogenesis clinic, a superstore of performance-enhancing drugs for which Rodriguez evidently had a frequent buyer card. In turn, Rodriguez finally fessed up about his more recent drug use. He admitted to paying Bosch about $12,000 a month for P.E.D.s, including “vitamin cocktails,” human growth hormone, steroid cream and lozenges with testosterone.

All of this was first reported on Wednesday by The Miami Herald, which cited a 15-page synopsis of a meeting Rodriguez had with federal agents in late January.

It’s hardly a surprise that Rodriguez did not tell the truth about his Biogenesis links until that session with the feds. Lance Armstrong did a superb job of ridding us of our naïveté about adamant doping denials.

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Rodriguez reportedly admitted to using steroids after federal prosecutors granted him immunity in an investigation of Anthony Bosch. Credit Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

As for the Yankees, they probably aren’t cheering his truth-telling, since they no doubt want Rodriguez to just disappear already. On the other hand, they know the routine. Over the last decade, spring training is when Yankee players traditionally come clean about drug indiscretions, or sort of do.

In February 2005, Jason Giambi apologized to the Yankees and their fans for something — he didn’t say exactly what — after his grand jury testimony about doping was leaked in the Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative steroid scandal.

Andy Pettitte apologized for using human growth hormone at spring training in 2008, after he was cited in the Mitchell report in December 2007.

A year later, it was Rodriguez’s turn to address the disclosure that he tested positive in baseball’s initial foray into drug testing in 2003.

All those mea culpas took place when the Yankees were a dominant team. This time, though, they can’t lean on a great record and a great captain in Derek Jeter to counterbalance the commotion. And this time, nobody is reminiscing about the previous postseason.

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Andy Pettitte, right, with Derek Jeter in 2008 after Pettitte admitted using human growth hormone. Pettitte rewon fans’ favor. Credit Chip Litherland for The New York Times

This time, fans might not be as generous in turning a blind eye to Yankee transgressions. That’s what happens when a team isn’t winning.

The Yankees could try to pull the covers over their heads and pretend this nightmare isn’t happening. But that won’t work. The franchise has paychecks to sign — like the hefty one to Rodriguez, who has three years left in his contract, at more than $60 million, with potential bonuses.

The options are bleak.

The Yankees could simply cut Rodriguez and basically pay him all the money he is owed. At least he would be gone. Or, they can hope that he will conclude he really can’t play anymore and will take a disability retirement, which would allow the team to collect insurance money.

If the past gives us any hints, however, it’s possible Rodriguez could very well sabotage himself.

In a brash and brainless move, he admitted doping in 2009 but doped again anyway and was caught for it. So maybe he’ll do something similarly stupid and get kicked out of the game again, freeing the Yankees from paying him. Maybe the Biogenesis case will create more entanglements for Rodriguez that will keep him out of baseball. The Yankees probably have their fingers crossed.

The whole thing is a sad tale, but it’s one the Yankees could have avoided if they hadn’t foolishly signed Rodriguez to a new deal after he opted out of his existing contract while the final game of the 2007 World Series was still being played. The Yankees should have known that any player who managed to step on the World Series is a player you don’t really want on your team.

Looking back, the Yankees basically asked for this mess. Instead of others feeling sorry for them, maybe it’s the Yankees who should feel sorry for all their fans. Rodriguez has become painful to endure, and no end is in sight.