Strategies: Ditch the costume and be authentic at work

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Aimee Cohen

There's one day a year when it's perfectly acceptable to dress up like someone else and pretend to be a nurse, fireman, or political figure. However, no one expects you to administer medicine, put out a fire, or pass legislation. It's all done in good fun; adults and children alike get in on the action.

But what happens when you feel like you're wearing a costume every day at the office? What happens when you show up at work and cross your fingers no one will know you're hiding behind a mask and are not really who they think you are?

This fear is a reality for so many professional women (and often, men). They are terrified their secret will be revealed and everyone will know they're a fraud or an imposter. They fear that a small slip will let everyone know they're not as smart, successful, or talented as they pretend to be.

Some women feel that previous accomplishments, acknowledgements, and accolades somehow were a fluke and not fully deserved. Women lack ownership of their successes and the confidence that they can keep the winning streak alive. They think, " If people really knew the truth, they'd know I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm an imposter."

This is not simple modesty; it's an expression of self-doubt characterizing a scarcity of self-belief on a fast-track to self-sabotage.

Not only is the "fraud and imposter" costume extremely popular year-round, but so is the mask of "perfection". Women are deeply committed to appearing perfect even though they know it's a façade. They want to look perfect, be perfect, and have the perfect career.

In fact, many women will not pursue a new position or an advanced position if it's not perfect. When evaluating a new job description, women believe they need to have nearly 100 percent of the requirements and qualifications in order to apply for the position. Women want a perfect match and a high degree of certainty before moving forward. Otherwise, they will hyper-focus on the one skill they don't have, or don't have enough of, and obsess over the possibility that the hiring manager will discover they're not perfect.

Aimee Cohen is author of "Woman UP! Overcome the 7 Deadly Sins that Sabotage Your Success." She can be reached at 303-221-0888 or womanuppower.com.