Red Bull Is Giving $10 to Anyone Who Wants It

By Stephen Young Thu., Oct. 9 2014 at 11:41 AM

The fleet is being readied for settlement delivery.

Red Bull is giving consumers $13 million dollars to settle false advertising claims. The settlement is unsurprising. Not once in all the times Unfair Park has consumed the horrid tasting energy drink have we grown wings, one of Red Bull's primary claims.

As long as you pinky promise that you bought some of the swill sometime in the last 12 years, the Austria-based company will give $10. If you prefer, and you really shouldn't, you can also settle your claim by getting $15 worth of Red Bull products.

It's a small consolation if you've ever felt the pain of a vodka/Red Bull hangover, but at least all the $30,000 millionaires in Uptown will be $30,010 millionaires in nine months or so. The online settlement request process takes about five minutes, but you won't get a check, or your four-pack, until the middle of next year at the earliest.

We Recommend

floyd.brittany0617

Here are the reasons why I am not collecting $10 from Red Bull, http://www.beafloyd.com/25-reasons-why-you-shouldnt-file-a-claim-against-red-bull/

John1073

I wish I could claim the price of the motherboard I had to buy when I spilled a mix of Red Bull and Jager on a laptop. Not one of my finest moments.

ScottsMerkin topcommenter

OF all the energy I tried to kill my self by mixing them with alcohol, Red Bull tasted the best. OF course, I hate myself the next morning sitting here hungover commenting on UP

TheRuddSki topcommenter

I applied for the windfall, even though I've never even tasted the stuff. I think that makes me a felon.

Tim.Covington

I tried it once, and decided it tasted awful. Luckily, that was about 2006.

kergo1spaceship

I guess I don't understand Redbull or energy drinks in general? It's mostly consumed by folks 18-27 years of age. Why in THE hell, if you are in your 20's, would you need a "pick me up"? Hell man, when I was 20 I didn't need Redbull, unless of course I was running two marathons. What the eff is wrong with kids today? So kids today and fatter and more lethargic? Good gravy, I hope this generation doesn't have to protect us from the Chinese, when they invade.

TheRuddSki topcommenter

Red Bull has killed more Americans than Ebola.

ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

I'll take $10 to not drink it.

floyd.brittany0617

Hahaha I referenced Jager Bombs as one of the reasons not to collect $10 from Red Bull! @John1073 Here are the other reasons if you want a fun read, http://www.beafloyd.com/25-reasons-why-you-shouldnt-file-a-claim-against-red-bull/

floyd.brittany0617

Yes, @ScottsMerkin! I references Jager Boms, Vodka Red Bulls and hangovers in my article as to why you should take $10 from Red Bull. You'll probably like it! Feel free to read it here, http://www.beafloyd.com/25-reasons-why-you-shouldnt-file-a-claim-against-red-bull/

JustSaying

@ScottsMerkin I see a lot of people, including some friends, that do that exact same move. They say it allows them to stay up drinking longer. Fuck that shit. Getting sleepy is how my body tells me that I've had enough.