Love is a Battlefield

Danielle Rollins’ glittery society wedding was the talk of the town. So was her divorce. The author and tastemaker shares how she learned to “look for the man who ruins my lipstick, not my mascara.”

The 1995 wedding of Danielle Rollins and Glen Rollins at the Carlyle Hotel in New York, documented by photographer Denis Reggie

by CHRISTOPHER WYNN

Danielle Rollins still recalls being reprimanded in the first grade at the East Dallas girls’ school she attended. The offense? Ignoring a math lesson in order to sketch her future wedding dress. She fantasized about the perfect husband, the perfect gown, the over-the-top party. “I was a very odd child,” she says. “I always had my head in a cookbook, or a Slim Aarons book, or was reading old Vogues.” After attending Hollins University in Virginia, Danielle returned to Dallas at the age of 22 and worked in event planning. A friend introduced her to dashing Glen Rollins, whose wealthy Atlanta family owns pest-control giant Orkin. Sparks flew. The couple had a lavish 1995 destination wedding at the superchic Carlyle Hotel in New York. Her gown was Vera Wang; Bill Blass made the bridesmaids’ skirts. Celebrity photographer Denis Reggie — he shot the iconic wedding image of John F. Kennedy Jr. kissing the hand of his new wife Carolyn Bessette — took the pictures. It was magic. The couple eventually settled in Atlanta, where Danielle oversaw the restoration of a celebrated five-acre estate named Boxwood. (A 2010 Town & Country magazine story shows off the home’s lavish redo by New York decorator Miles Redd. The picture-perfect Rollinses and their three children are seated dreamily in a gleaming black vintage Mercedes convertible in the driveway.)

The very connected Danielle became a contributing editor to Veranda magazine and in 2012, Rizzoli published her debut coffee-table book, Soirée: Entertaining with Style. Her life seemed as glossy and perfect as the book’s photos — but it had been unraveling for years. Seven years into her marriage, Danielle found herself dealing with unexpected and potentially devastating trust issues in the relationship. She says that tears, arguments and apologies followed, and that the two went through extensive couples counseling. Danielle read every self-help book available. She even tried to be more exotic and sexy in the bedroom. “Looking back now, I joke often that my book should have been called What to Do When Everything is Falling Apart” Her answer at the time? “Keep everything looking really pretty. Keep putting the flowers out. Turn the music up.” Danielle focused on the good times when they came and told herself the bad times wouldn’t last. But the bad times did last. [Glen declined comment through his attorney, R. Scott Berryman. Berryman says members of the media have been given “false” and “extremely misleading information.”] Danielle filed for divorce in 2011. She says she then realized she had three children to care for and no exit strategy. It was dismissed 10 days later. In 2012 she filed again. The divorce was finalized in December 2013. Society was shocked by the news. “There were some big cracks in the fairy tale,” Danielle says. “I wanted to be married. I never wanted to be the failure.”

Danielle Rollins. Photograph by Sara Hanna

The marriage may be over, but Rollins is still navigating the logistics of their painful, public split. As of press time, she is facing the fact that she and the children will move out of their cherished Boxwood. (She says her ex-husband is moving back in.) Rollins says she is sharing her story now to help other women. She says she has gone through enough therapy since the breakup to change her definitions of failure and success. She is finished blaming herself for not being “pretty enough” or “thin enough” or a “good-enough wife.” “A relationship in the bedroom,” she says, “isn’t going to help what’s wrong outside of the bedroom. And trust is the biggest thing. Once it’s broken, it’s broken. It’s like trying to put the Coke back in the can after shaking it up.” She urges prospective brides not to make the same mistake she did regarding motivations for marriage, which included “filling a void.” At 46, Rollins is dating again. She even tried the popular matchmaking app Tinder at the urging of girlfriends. Her standards for Mr. Right are different this time around: “I have learned to look for the man who ruins my lipstick, not my mascara.”

She does hope to marry again — but the ceremony would be much simpler this time, focused on immediate family and friends. She would opt for “the pretty white Chanel suit” over a long, lacy gown. In some ways, she remains that romantic Texas girl sketching out her dreams. “I still believe in love,” she says. “I still believe in the fairy tale.”

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