TOM THOMPSON, YOUNG PROFESSIONAL ON THE RISE
Who are you and what did you do yesterday?
My name is Tom Thompson and I’m a young professional on the rise. I work at a big company and I do big things, things involving the semi-legal allocation of funds for the purpose of evading US tax law. I also like to DJ on the weekends.
This morning I woke up in a big bed beside my beautiful girlfriend. We have a beautiful apartment with a beautiful view. Before going to work, I responded to 47 work-related emails and then while driving to work I responded to 16 work-related responses to my work-related emails. At work I allocated 4,798 funds. Then I went to the strip club. Then I threw up at the strip club. Then I was thrown out of the strip club and went to a cheaper strip club. Then I drove home.
What role has literature played in your life?
None whatsoever. I don’t like to read.
What is one of your favorite books, and why?
I don’t have one, I don’t think I’ve read a book since high school. Old…Man in the Sea? I think I read that, or the cliff notes or something. It was stupid. Oh, quick plug: follow me on twitter @DJAnarchy
If you could have a conversation with any writer living or dead, who would it be?
I don’t know.
I don’t love my girlfriend anymore. Sorry, I know that’s not what this interview is about but that’s all I’ve been thinking about lately. I guess I’m just telling you because I know that nobody’s gonna read this. But really, we need to break up. I don’t want to hurt her though…especially since her dad died earlier this year…she’s in a fragile state. Last week we went out to dinner and she suddenly burst into tears, just out of nowhere… And she wouldn’t even tell me what was wrong, she just shook her head and sobbed and sobbed into her hands until I finally just had to pay the check and we left. Later that night, she said ‘I don’t trust you enough to say what’s wrong.’ I mean, what the fuck? What is that supposed to mean? I come home after a grueling day of allocating funds, and she just sits her ass in front of the tv drinking wine, she hardly even talks to me anymore, much less show me any affection. I may be a young professional on the rise, but we all need affection. At least the strippers pretend that they like me.
I mean, obviously she isn’t happy – I’m not happy – I’ve been to strip clubs three times this week. I can’t stand to go home and be in the same room with her, sleep in the same bed. Life is so strange. A couple months ago, I loved her more than anything in the world, and now…
Harold Bloom once said that Walt Whitman was a poet who gave a name to everything in the world, and Emily Dickinson was a poet who un-named everything. What do you think about this idea?
I swear to God, I can remember the exact moment I first saw her, you know? She was standing by the bar at a club that I was DJ-ing at. Of course she was gorgeous and sexy and all that, and I immediately wanted to talk to her, but what was crazy about that moment was the kind of absolute confidence I felt…I knew that she would come home with me later that night (she did) and that in a week we’d be confessing our love for each other (we were). I saw my whole life in that one moment, the first time I saw her. Do you know what I mean? That’s a hard thing to give up. What if I’m wrong, and we’re just going through a rough patch? I can’t just throw away that moment, that moment still lives inside me somewhere. I haven’t felt in love with her for a long time, but what if that’s just temporary?
How do you feel the internet has impacted literature, if at all? Are you optimistic about the prospect of a new digital landscape replacing the world of print books, or does that idea fill you with dread?
I just don’t want to become like my parents.
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