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Phariss: My partner and I traveled the world where we could be more open about our relationship

Victor Holmes (left) and Mark Phariss (right) in Antarctica in December 2012. (Courtesy of Mark Phariss)

I met Vic in San Antonio in the spring of 1997 at a birthday party for a mutual friend. Vic, then 27, was six feet tall, dark-haired and athletic without an ounce of fat on him. He was very handsome.

He was also articulate, with an easy smile, eyes that twinkled and a face and personality that indicated a good person. I was smitten. For me, it was love at first sight.

That night, I asked our mutual friend if I could have Vic’s phone number. He gave it to me, after first getting Vic’s permission.

Not wanting to appear too anxious, I waited several days before calling Vic for a date. Unfortunately, when I did Vic told me he was already dating someone.

Although disappointed, I decided a friendship was better than nothing. So we hung out as friends. We went to movies and dinners, watched TV, talked and laughed, and in general had a great time.

In August 1997, Vic and his boyfriend broke up and I immediately asked him out. When he said yes, I was overjoyed.

We had our first date on August 9, 1997, at another friend’s house. This time, rather than a birthday party, the event was a fundraiser for the Human Rights Campaign, a national LGBTQ lobbying organization, with Betty DeGeneres, Ellen’s mother, one of the speakers. (What a treat for a first date!)

Vic asked what he should wear. I told him a nice shirt and khakis. Although I didn’t know it until many years later, Vic did not know what khakis were and had to call his mother. He then had to buy a pair.

As usual, Vic looked great, stunning in his new khakis.  My heart went pitter-patter when I saw him. It’s been going pitter-patter ever since.

Vic stayed that night at my house. For the next several months, we spent most but not all nights together. Around November 1997, I asked him to move in permanently, and he agreed. We lived together for the next two years.

Vic and Mark on the Amazon River in Peru in July 2013. (Courtesy of Mark Phariss)

In 1999, the Air Force transferred him to San Diego, California, then Biloxi, Mississippi, then Little Rock, Arkansas, then Wichita Falls, Texas. Vic was stationed elsewhere for 11 years in all.

During those 11 years, Vic and I commuted to see each other — every two to three weekends when he was in San Diego and Biloxi and every weekend after that.

We talked during the day several times a day, including every morning to say “good morning” and every evening to say “goodnight.” We emailed each other and later, when texting became common, we texted.

Vic and I also talked via video over the Internet in order for him to see our beagles, our four-legged children.

So they would remember who he was, Vic would send me home with his dirty T-shirts to give to the dogs. When I picked Vic up at the airport, I always brought the dogs, who greeted him with lots of woofing and slurping. Of course, I greeted him, too, but just with a kiss and a hug — no woofing.

During these years, we had to hide our relationship. Vic was in the Air Force, and Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was the law of the land. We developed code words and phrases to say “I love you.”

Vic had a “girlfriend” who later became his “fiancé” — or at least that’s what Vic told people who became too inquisitive about his personal life. The girlfriend was a friend of ours, as was her husband.

To make sure Vic and I could be more open about our relationship, we began vacationing overseas.

We have now traveled to Antarctica and the Arctic, Africa and the Amazon, Asia and the Galapagos, Italy and Spain. We have been to all continents. We are literally traveling through life together, bound by a love for each other and a desire to see (and photograph) the world.

In December 2010, just as legislation repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was being signed by President Obama, Vic retired as a major from the Air Force after almost 23 years.

Finally, we were able to live together again, and we still cherish it. We kiss each other good morning and goodnight. And as hard as it may be for some to believe, we have not had an argument in our entire 17 years together (although Vic’s driving — or perhaps my backseat driving — have brought us perilously close at times).

Of course, there have been some hard times, but we have handled them together. We consoled each other when one of our beloved beagles, a close friend or cherished relative died.

I’m not sure I could have handled any of those events without him. Through it all, Vic has been and is my best friend. And I am his.

Vic and Mark in Africa, at the most southern point, in October 2005. (Courtesy of Mark Phariss)

In love, we have wanted to marry for a long time, but Vic’s involvement in the military and Texas law made that impossible.

Last year’s Windsor decision gave us hope. In October, we flew to San Antonio, the city where we met, to apply for a marriage license. When we were turned down, we and another couple filed a lawsuit challenging the constitutionality of Texas’ ban on same-sex marriages.

On February 26 of this year, a federal court in San Antonio agreed with us. The State of Texas has now appealed the federal court’s decision to the 5th Circuit, something I wish the State of Texas — our state — had not done. And, despite filing it, we wish the State of Texas would drop its appeal, since it cannot reasonably believe it will prevail.

However, knowing the State of Texas will not discontinue its appeal, Vic and I hope the 5th Circuit will hold a hearing on and uphold the district court’s decision soon. The 5th Circuit should invalidate Texas’ ban on same-sex marriages just like virtually every other federal court and court of appeals has invalidated other states’ bans.

The sooner the 5th Circuit acts the better. Justice delayed is justice denied.

And ultimately we look forward to the day that is inevitably coming when after more than 17 years we can marry the one we love in the state we love.

Mark Phariss is a Plano, Texas corporate attorney. He and his partner of 17 years, Vic Holmes, are co-plaintiffs in the Texas case challenging the constitutionality of Texas’ ban on same-sex marriages, which is now pending before the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals.

Documentary following tour of controversial play that depicts Jesus as gay screens in Dallas tonight

In the late ‘90s, Tony Award-winning American playwright Terrence McNally (Love! Valour! Compassion!, Master Class) wrote a controversial passion play that dramatized the story of Jesus and the Apostles. First staged in New York City in 1998, Corpus Christi depicts Jesus and the Apostles as gay men living in modern-day Texas, with contemporary twists on sexual jealousy, media culture, and gay marriage.

Nearly two decades later, the play, which has received both critical acclaim for its exploration of gay themes in Christianity and condemnation from groups like the Catholic League for perceived blasphemy and anti-Catholic bigotry, continues to be performed widely.

Monday there will be a series of one-night-only screenings nationwide of the feature documentary, Corpus Christi: Playing with Redemption, which will be released on DVD and VOD the following day. The special screenings coincide with The I AM Love Campaign, a movement to ignite a deeper understanding and build a bridge between local LGBTQ and faith communities to create a more accepting, inclusive world for all.

The New Church will be hosting the Dallas area premier screening of Corpus Christi: Playing with Redemption on Monday, October 13 at 7 p.m. at Alamo Drafthouse in Richardson. For full details and to purchase tickets, visit eventbrite.com.

I spoke with actor-turned-documentary filmmaker, James Brandon, about playing Jesus in the revival of Corpus Christi, his segue into writing, directing and producing, and the impact these experiences have had on his own religious beliefs.

Insiders Network: What compelled you to get involved in the revival of this play?

Eight years ago, back in 2006, Nic Arnzen, the director of the campaign and [co-director of] the film, and I became business partners. He asked a bunch of his friends to be a part of the revival [of Corpus Christi], which initially was just eight performances.

I was raised Catholic in St. Louis and had left the church for many reasons, one of which was being gay and not feeling like I belonged. So this play, told through the lens of a young gay Jesus, was catharsis and, for me, helped heal all of the wounds that I had connected to the church and helped me feel like a whole person again, which is amazing for a piece of theater. Since then it’s mushroomed into a grassroots experience and now almost a global movement.

How did your own spiritual experiences influence your interpretation of the role and your connection with the material?

As human beings, we’re all in some ways imprisoned. I always have considered myself a spiritual being, having been raised Catholic. But when my father died when I was 18, I had a feeling of something greater, something indefinable, and I knew at that moment there was more to life beyond this [life]. That was a catalyst to my own spiritual quest, and I began to study different faiths and beliefs. They may all have different teachings to get you there, but love is at the heart of it. Studying different faiths I became a conglomerate of them, which is what I take into my daily life.

Tell me then how the documentary came to be.

We’ve been doing this performance for eight years. It started out with eight performances, from a small church to a big theater in L.A. We toured through California, then Scotland and Ireland at film festivals. From Dublin in 2008 we were asked to come to New York for the show’s 10-year anniversary. So California to international to East Coast, then we decided to take it to the middle of the country, which then became the basis of the documentary as we toured the country and met people, supporters and detractors, along the way. It’s been a ride, emotionally and spiritually and financially and every other facet.

What are some of the specific reactions and outcomes you’ve seen?

When [Corpus Christi] debuted in 1998 it certainly was ahead of its time. Conversations about marriage equality, a true catalyst in the LGBT movement, has evolved over the years into conversations we had with our audience about equality in general — how do I fit into my neighborhood, my spiritual community — as there’s been more LGBT acceptance. So the conversations have gotten deeper.

Less positively we’ve gotten pushback — death threats, bomb threats, etc. — for our depiction of a gay Jesus, which caused some people to freak out and come to protest as blasphemy. We’ve encountered many protesters and picketers and have included them in the documentary so their point of view is heard. We even invite them to see the play, which none of them have, but we do so nonetheless.

Dallas is the place I found to have the most intense reaction. I’ve been threatened, and very scarily, not to come to Dallas to perform the play. It’s a vulnerable place to go, but there was no way I wouldn’t come — and come back. So it’s been scary at times because people have strong feelings about their Jesus, which I respect and wouldn’t want to infringe on their beliefs. But, then again, why can’t the LGBT community have our own depiction?

Have performing in the play and making the documentary made a lasting impact on your own views of and place in your life for spirituality?

Initially I came at it from my own familiarity with the subject, since I grew up with it. I wanted to bring truth to it, as I was still angry but had to find a way to heal and connect with the stories. I realized, for me, that coming out as a gay man and feeling marginalized in society allowed me to go to a deep place in myself and identify with the character who grew up in 1950s Corpus Christi — not feeling like a guys’ guy and the struggles with fitting in and exploring his sexuality. It was a catalyst for his spiritual journey and exploring truths and becoming a leader.

The experience made me reconsider how we can use that as a true way to connect with ourselves. How can we exclude Jesus’ emotions? We all can be deeply human, deeply spiritual, and I was able to relate to that easily and was able to get into the story that way (and vice versa). Others may have had similar experiences.

Talk about The I AM Love Campaign as an outgrowth of that.

The idea beyond this documentary was to develop an I Am Love campaign based on the dialogue that the play is starting. We decided to tour with the play and then keep the dialogue alive through interacting with the community and community leaders. We launched it a few weeks ago in my hometown of St. Louis and hope that our cast can do tours of their own hometowns, allowing them to take this dialogue back home. With the campaign and the film we are working on getting funding to keep it going. It’s all on the precipice which is exciting.

Mark Brinkerhoff is a communications consultant and speaker, and a co-founder of the Dallas-Fort Worth chapter of Gay for Good, a volunteer-based community service group.

Plaintiffs in Texas’ gay marriage case push for ruling before one couple has a baby next year

In this Saturday, Feb. 8, 2014 photo, Cleo DeLeon, left, and Nicole Dimetman play with their first son at their home in Austin, Texas. The couple is expecting another child in the spring of 2015. A federal judge is expected to hear arguments Wednesday, Feb. 12, 2014, in a lawsuit brought by two homosexual couples who say the Texas Constitution’s ban on gay marriage is unconstitutional because it denies them the right to be treated like everyone else. (AP Photo/The San Antonio Express-News, Lisa Krantz)

[UPDATE at 6:10 p.m. Oct. 27: A judge granted the expedite request on October 14, according to the plaintiffs' lawyer Neel Lane. However, a hearing date has now been set for January 5.]

By Mark Phariss

Last week I urged the State of Texas to drop its appeal of the federal district court decision rendered in February finding Texas’ ban on same-sex marriages unconstitutional.

This week I write to urge Texas, if it won’t drop its appeal, to agree to a November hearing before the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals.

My partner of more than 17 years, Vic, and I are co-plaintiffs in the case challenging Texas’ ban on same-sex marriages. In love and having been turned down for a Texas marriage license a year ago, we filed suit seeking the right to marry.

Our co-plaintiffs in the lawsuit are Cleopatra (“Cleo”) De Leon and Nicole Dimetman, a wonderful couple from Austin who have been together over 13 years and were married in Massachusetts in 2009. Because Texas refuses to recognize their legitimate, out-of-state marriage, they, too, seek judicial relief.

After Cleo and Nicole were married, Cleo gave birth to a beautiful son, now a little over four two years old. If Cleo were married to a man at the time of the son’s birth, her spouse would have become the parent. (Tex. Family Code § 160.703.) However, because Texas does not recognize same-sex marriages, Nicole was not recognized as the child’s parent. This forced Nicole to adopt, a process that, though ultimately successful, required great effort, expense and time, all when Nicole and Cleo were trying to raise a baby. The money spent on the adoption could have, instead, been saved for other things, including the child’s college education.

Now Nicole is pregnant, with a March 15, 2015 due date. Once again, under current Texas law, Cleo and Nicole will have to spend considerable time and money arranging for Cleo’s adoption of their second child after he or she is born. And, once again, this will divert money that could otherwise be used to benefit their children.

Monday, our attorneys at Akin Gump filed a motion with the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals requesting a November hearing for our case. One of the reasons our attorneys seek this November hearing is so Nicole and Cleo can attend it. If the hearing is held much later, Nicole will be in her third trimester and travel for Nicole and Cleo will become more difficult, if not impossible. More importantly, our lawyers seek a November hearing because it is imperative that the 5th Circuit renders a decision before Nicole’s and Cleo’s child is born.

Co-plantiffs in Texas' gay marriage case Cleo De Leon, Nicole Dimetman, Mark Phariss and Victor Holmes receive an award from Equality Texas in 2014. (Courtesy photo)

As our lawyers noted in the motion, “…the child will be exposed to great uncertainty and insecurity if, for some reason, Dimetman is rendered incapable of caring for the newborn child. For instance, if Dimetman did not survive childbirth, the baby could be an orphan without a parent directing the baby’s care.”

Gary J. Gates, a scholar at the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law, filed an amicus brief about a month ago with the 5th Circuit. In that brief, he noted that nearly 93,000 Texans identified as being in same-sex relationships in the 2010 Census. Of those couples, 23 percent, or 11,000 couples, were raising 19,000 children under the age of 18.

In short, there are tens of thousands of Texas same-sex couples that have faced or are facing the same issues as Nicole and Cleo. And there are tens of thousands of Texas children of same-sex couples who have been at risk of being orphaned, just like Nicole’s and Cleo’s expected child, until he or she can be adopted by the same-sex spouse of the biological parent.

This is intolerable. I expect more — we should all expect more — of the State of Texas that likes to call itself “great.”

The State has argued in its brief to the 5th Circuit that the “promotion of opposite-sex marriages increases the likelihood that children will be born into stable environments where they are raised by their mother and their father.” Isn’t that also true for the children of same-sex relationships? Won’t these children benefit from having married parents? Don’t the children of same-sex parents deserve the same concern and protection from Texas as children of straight Texas parents?

If the State of Texas believes so strongly in the rightness of its cause, the strength of its defense and the inevitability of its victory, then why delay? Agree to a November hearing.

But if, on the other hand, the State of Texas believes marriage equality is inevitable, as no one really doubts that it is, then Texas should drop its appeal and stop spending taxpayer money on a pointless appeal. Obviously, by dropping its appeal, Texas would also move one step closer to treating its LGBT citizens and the children of same-sex couples as they are — worthy of equal treatment.

I look forward to the day when Vic and I and the tens of thousands of other gay and lesbian couples in Texas can marry. And I look forward to the day when Texas recognizes Nicole’s and Cleo’s 2009 out-of-state marriage and the out-of-state marriages of thousands of other Texas gay and lesbian couples.

But mostly, I look forward to the day when all Texas children, including those of same-sex couples, are treated the same, a day when no child of any Texan has to ask anyone, much less a candidate for Texas office, why his or her two dads (or his or her two moms) can’t marry.

Mark Phariss is a Plano, Texas corporate attorney. He and his partner of 17 years, Vic Holmes, are co-plaintiffs in the Texas case challenging the constitutionality of Texas’ ban on same-sex marriages, which is now pending before the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals.

Sunday funday: HRC begins monthly happy hour and Parigi celebrates 30 years October 5

Nobody ever said making choices was easy. Just ask Sophie.

But, it’s part of being an adult and the dilemma we face on an almost daily basis because we live in a city with so many amazing things to do.

So sorry, but there are two Sunday events that are going to be really tough to pick between — so why not go to both? They’re a great way to treat yourself after that LifeWalk 5K.

Start off the night at W Dallas Hotel in the Living Room Bar for the kick off of Turn it up for Change, a monthly happy hour that benefits the Human Rights Campaign’s Marriage Equality Initiative. The inaugural (free) soiree is sponsored by Ambhar Tequila and a portion of the bar’s proceeds will be donated to the HRC thanks to a partnership with W Hotels.

Skip the bar food, though, because you’ll want to save room for the 30th anniversary of Parigi on Oak Lawn Avenue. Tickets are $84 in tribute to the restaurant opening in 1984, but you get a lot of bang for your 84 bucks. Chef/owner Janice Provost will be preparing tasty bites and Veuve Cliquot and Belvedere Vodka are on hand to provide a little liquid refreshment.

One of my favorite lounge singers, Vince Martinez, will be crooning the night away for a wonderful end to the weekend.

There’s more than enough gay to go around this Sunday for sure.

And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Turn It Up For Change with Dallas-Victory
Free with RSVP at eventbrite.com
Sunday, October 5 (and every first Sunday through September 2015)
4-7 p.m.
Living Room Bar at W Dallas Hotel
2440 Victory Park Lane
Complimentary valet with Living Room Bar receipt
www.hrc.org

Parigi 30th Anniversary Celebration featuring Vince Martinez
Tickets: $84 at eventbrite.com
Sunday, October 5
6-9 p.m.
3311 Oak Lawn Avenue #102, Dallas
www.parigidallas.com

This story originally appeared in the Dallas edition of He Said Magazine.

Steven Lindsey is a Dallas editor, freelance writer and obsessed lover of the written word, especially when relaying stories of travel, food and cocktails. Currently he is contributing editor and head writer of the national and Dallas editions of He Said Magazine (formerly Gay List Daily).

Texas should accept that gay marriage equality is inevitable and drop its appeal

Mark Phariss, left, clutches the hand of partner Victor Holmes, right, as they talk to the media outside the U.S. Federal Courthouse on Feb. 12, 2014, in San Antonio. District Judge Orlando Garcia said he would issue a decision later after two Texas men filed a civil rights lawsuit seeking permission to marry, and a lesbian couple sued to have their marriage recognized. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

By Mark Phariss

It is time for the State of Texas to drop its appeal before the 5th circuit court of appeals and allow my partner, Vic, and me and the thousands of other same-sex couples in the state to marry the person we love in the state we love.

This past week, an elected state judge ruled Louisiana’s ban on same-sex marriages unconstitutional. Although the case is being appealed, this loss continues the long string of almost unanimous rulings in favor of same-sex couples that states across the country have suffered in defending their marriage bans. To date, these losses include decisions by more than 20 federal district courts and three federal courts of appeals. The 9th circuit appears poised to become the fourth court of appeals to rule in favor of marriage equality.

With all of these losses, the State of Texas can no longer reasonably believe that it will prevail in its defense of its ban or that full marriage equality will not eventually come.

Texas’ arguments in support of discrimination against gays and lesbians have been made by all of the other states. And these arguments have been found woefully wanting.

Texas’ principal argument is that its ban is necessary to encourage procreation within marriage. “The State’s recognition and encouragement of opposite-sex marriages increases the likelihood that naturally procreative couples will produce children, and that they will do so in the context of stable, lasting relationships,” reads the argument.

The 7th circuit said this argument was “so full of holes that it cannot be taken seriously.”  The 10th circuit called this argument “wholly illogical.” And it is.

Disallowing gays and lesbians from marrying does not encourage heterosexual couples to marry. And allowing gays and lesbians to marry will not discourage heterosexual couples from marrying — or from having children, for that matter.

Mark Phariss and Vic Holmes hold Jake as they pose for a portrait in their home in Plano, on Thursday, February 6, 2014. (Vernon Bryant/The Dallas Morning News)

By continuing this appeal before the 5th circuit, Texas is spending valuable taxpayer money defending a law that is blatantly discriminatory, unjust and unconstitutional.

Texas is unnecessarily delaying the time when thousands of Texas children of gay and lesbian couples may be raised by married parents just like children of heterosexuals. Texas is delaying the time when thousands of Texas gay and lesbian taxpayers – including Vic and me – can marry the person they love.

By continuing with this appeal, Texas is on the wrong side of the law, the wrong side of equality and the wrong side of history. Frankly, it is also on the wrong side of compassion.

Vic and I have been together over 17 years, and we commuted for 11 of those years while Vic served his country in the U.S. Air Force. We love each other very, very much. And like most couples in love, whether heterosexual or non-heterosexual, we want to marry.

Marriage is about two people, whether gay or straight, who love each other and want to express that love in a lifelong commitment.

Texas should accept the inevitable, drop its appeal and extend marriage equality and compassion to its gay and lesbian citizens.

Mark Phariss is a Plano, Texas corporate attorney. He and his partner of 17 years, Vic Holmes, are co-plaintiffs in the Texas case challenging the constitutionality of Texas’ ban on same-sex marriages, which is now pending before the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals.

Federal judge: Florida gay marriage ban unconstitutional

Kimmy Denny and her partner, Barb Lawrence, drove three hours for the to be at the court hearing on gay marriage in Miami, Wednesday, July 2, 2014.The couple is engaged and planned to wait until it is legal in their Palm Harbor, Fla. home, to marry. After a long court battle, the marriage ban was overturned Thursday, July 17, 2014. (AP Photo/J Pat Carter)

By Steve Rothaus
The Miami Herald (MCT)

MIAMI — A federal judge on Thursday ruled Florida’s gay marriage ban unconstitutional and ordered the state to recognize marriages legally performed elsewhere. U.S. District Judge Robert L. Hinkle, however, immediately stayed his order until after the appeals process is completed.

“When observers look back 50 years from now, the arguments supporting Florida’s ban on same-sex marriage, though just as sincerely held, will again seem an obvious pretext for discrimination,” Hinkle wrote. “Observers who are not now of age will wonder just how those views could have been held.”

Hinkle’s ruling comes after 22 individuals including nine married couples sued Florida to recognize their marriages or grant them marriage licenses. Plaintiffs in the case include eight same-sex couples from South Florida and the LGBT rights group SAVE.

“While we are overjoyed that the judge erred on the side of fairness by ordering the state of Florida recognize the legal marriages of the plaintiffs, we will continue to make the case that it is Florida’s responsibility to recognize the legal marriages of ALL same-sex couples, and not only those named as plaintiffs in our suit,” SAVE Executive Director Tony Lima said in a statement. “SAVE will continue to advocate for a pro-equality ruling as the court examines the case further in the weeks and months ahead.”

Whitney Ray, a spokesman for Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi, declined to say if Bondi’s office was planning to appeal. “We’re reviewing the ruling,” Ray said.

In March, eight same-sex couples who married elsewhere in the United States sued Florida to recognize their unions: Sloan Grimsley and Joyce Albu of Palm Beach Gardens; Lindsay Myers and Sarah Humlie of Pensacola; Chuck Hunziger and Bob Collier of Broward; Juan Del Hierro and Thomas Gantt Jr. of Miami; Christian Ulvert and Carlos Andrade of Miami; Richard Milstein and Eric Hankin of Miami; Robert Loupo and John Fitzgerald of Miami; and Denise Hueso and Sandra Jean Newson of Miami.

On April 10, the ACLU of Florida amended its complaint by adding another plaintiff: Arlene Goldberg of Fort Myers, whose wife, Carol Goldwasser, died March 13. Goldberg and Goldwasser had been partners for 47 years. They moved from New York City to Florida in 1989 and married in New York in October 2011.

The ACLU suit eventually was consolidated with a similar case involving two couples in North Florida, one already married and the other wanting to wed.

“It’s the first federal decision in Florida. When the stay is lifted, it will have statewide impact,” said Howard Simon, executive director of the ACLU of Florida. “What it will mean, when the stay is ultimately lifted, is that these families will be protected and strengthened. They’ll start getting health insurance, pension benefits. They could protect their families with survivors benefits. These are the dramatic, practical ways that this victory will ultimately help families in Florida.”

—

©2014 The Miami Herald

Visit The Miami Herald at www.miamiherald.com

Distributed by MCT Information Services

The 2014 elections are imperative for LGBT Texans, and here’s why

Dallas and Fort Worth recently had the honor of hosting both the Republican and Democratic Texas Conventions. Fort Worth hosted the republicans June 5-7 and Dallas hosted the democrats June 26-28. During the conventions, rumors were buzzing that minorities and young voters will have the deciding vote in 2014, if they get out and vote.

The platforms from these two Texas political parties could not be more opposite. The biggest difference between the them is civil rights.

The Texas Republican platform endorsed “reparative therapy” to repair homosexuals. They did not allow the Log Cabin Republicans a caucus or a booth at the convention and got the attention of the New Yorker regarding some of these issues.

On the other hand, the Texas Democrat’s platform included endorsing a ban reparative therapy, marriage equality, LGBT protections in the workplace and the Texas Stonewall Caucus had the convention floor.

The tired campaign citing government size and taxation as the major differences between the two parties just isn’t true. The Republican Party under George W. Bush increased the government size more than any U.S. president in history as well as outspending any previous U.S. president. And this is coming from a southern-born-and-raised republican — I believe the major differences are more about civil rights and liberties than size and taxation. The Texas Democrats are working to expand civil rights, while the Texas Republicans are working to decrease them.

Does the government have the right to tell you how to live your personal life? The Republican Party I grew up with would have said “of course not.” But the Grand Old Party ain’t what she used to be.

What could be more important to a person than basic civil rights? What is more important than the right to be treated as an equal citizen with dignity and respect?

The 2014 election could not be more important for the LGBTQ Texans. The question is, will the marginalized populations in Texas pay attention, become active and vote? Or will they stay in the shadows and continue to complain about inequality?

Kathryn Omarkhail is artistic director for QCinema, Fort Worth’s Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival. She is also a clinical social worker, saving lives employed as a manager and assessment clinician.

Same-sex marriage ban struck down in another Florida county

Kimmy Denny and her partner, Barb Lawrence, drove three hours for the to be at the court hearing on gay marriage in Miami, Wednesday, July 2, 2014.The couple is engaged and planned to wait until it is legal in their Palm Harbor, Fla. home, to marry. After a long court battle, the marriage ban was overturned Thursday, July 17, 2014. (AP Photo/J Pat Carter)

By JENNIFER KAY
Associated Press

MIAMI (AP) — A third judge in Florida has overturned the state’s ban on same-sex marriage in a single county but stayed his decision pending an appeal.

The ruling Monday by Broward County Circuit Judge Dale Cohen mirrors decisions made last month by judges in Monroe and Miami-Dade counties. All found that a 2008 voter-approved constitutional amendment banning gay marriage in the state violates gay residents’ right to equal protection under the law as guaranteed by the 14th Amendment.

Republican Attorney General Pam Bondi has filed a notice of appeal in the Monroe and Miami-Dade cases. No marriage licenses will be issued for gay couples in any of the three counties, pending appeals.

The Broward County lawsuit was filed by a gay Florida woman who wants to divorce a partner she married in Vermont.

State, led by Greg Abbott, appeals court ruling that overturned Texas gay marriage ban

Couples Cleopatra De Leon, left, and partner, Nicole Dimetman, second from left, and Victor Holmes and partner Mark Phariss, right, talk with the media after as they leave the U.S. Federal Courthouse, Wednesday, Feb. 12, 2014, in San Antonio. The two homosexual couples are challenging Texas' ban on same-sex marriage and have taken their case to federal court. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

Attorney General Greg Abbott submitted an appeal on behalf of himself, Governor Rick Perry, and Commissioner of the Department of State Health Services David Lakey Monday in response to the February court ruling that deemed Texas’ ban on gay marriage unconstitutional.

According to the appeal, Texas’ marriage laws do not violate the Equal Protection Clause because they are “rationally related to a legitimate state interest” and “rooted in a basic reality of human life: procreation requires a male and a female.” The state has an interest in encouraging procreative couples to have children in stable, lasting relationship, the appeal says.

“Because same-sex relationships do not naturally produce children, recognizing same-sex marriage does not further these goals to the same extent that recognizing opposite-sex marriage does,” the appeal says. “That is enough to supply a rational basis for Texas’s marriage laws.”

Here are a few other highlights from the document:

The appeal states that the court’s decision undermines Washington v. Glucksburg, which forbids the recognition of rights unless they are deeply rooted in the nation’s history and tradition.

The appeal states the differing views of marriage – one being a public solidification of mutual love and commitment, the other being “inextricably linked” to procreation. Just because the court and plaintiffs don’t agree with one of those views does not make said view irrational, it says.

Neither the Supreme Court nor the court handling this case has ever designated sexual orientation as a “suspect classification” worthy of heightened scrutiny, the appeal says. And even if it did, recent events show this class is stronger than ever before.

The appeal says that legalizing gay marriage in Texas may provide a gateway to legalization of further rights. “If courts and litigants can create a constitutional right to same-sex marriage by defining it as part of a more general ‘right to marry,’ then any conduct that has been traditionally prohibited can become a constitutional right simply by redefining it at a higher level of abstraction…” the appeal states.

Ultimately, the appeal calls for a democratic process by which the final decision is made, as opposed to “imposed judicial order.” Further, the appeal urges the court to decide on this appeal regardless of a potential ruling in Kitchen v. Herbert, the case challenging Utah’s gay marriage ban that is likely to be appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Mark Phariss, a corporate attorney and one of four plaintiffs in this case, said Tuesday that this is just the beginning of months of debate, but that he agrees the court should rule in this case and not delay in anticipation of a Supreme Court decision. He hopes to that decision will be rendered by the end of the year.

“My thought is that this brief makes the same arguments that have been rejected by over 30-plus courts, including two court of appeals – the 10th and the 4th – and as a result I anticipate the 5th Circuit will treat these arguments in the same way,” he said.

14-50196 #14288 by Equality Case Files

U.S. court rules Virginia’s gay marriage ban unconstitutional

In this Feb. 4, 2014 file photo, plaintiff in the Bostic v. Rainey case, Tony London, waves to the crowd as he and his partner, Tim Bostic, right, leave Federal Court after a hearing on Virginia's ban on gay marriage in Norfolk, Va. On July 1, 2013 five days after the high court rulings, Bostic and London, who'd been partners since 1989 tried to obtain a marriage license at a courthouse in Norfolk, Va. Bostic and London were turned down, and filed a lawsuit a few weeks later arguing that Virginia's treatment of gays and lesbians was unequal in depriving them of the many benefits of marriage. (AP Photo/Steve Helber, File)

By MICHAEL FELBERBAUM
Associated Press

RICHMOND, Va. (AP) — A federal appeals court ruled Monday that Virginia’s same-sex marriage ban is unconstitutional, the latest in a string of decisions overturning bans across the country.

A three-judge panel of the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Richmond ruled that state constitutional and statutory provisions barring gay marriage and denying recognition of such unions performed in other states violate the U.S. Constitution. The Virginia gay marriage case is one of several that could go to the U.S. Supreme Court.

It was not immediately clear if or when the state would need to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

Virginia’s same-sex marriage bans “impermissibly infringe on its citizens’ fundamental right to marry,” Judge Henry F. Floyd wrote in the court’s opinion.

In February, U.S. District Judge Arenda Wright Allen ruled that Virginia’s same-sex marriage ban violates the U.S. Constitution’s equal protection and due process guarantees. Lawyers for two circuit court clerks whose duties include issuing marriage licenses appealed. Attorney General Mark Herring, representing a state official also named as a defendant, sided with the plaintiffs.

“Marriage is one of the most fundamental rights — if not the most fundamental right — of all Americans,” David Boies, an attorney for the plaintiffs, said in a statement. “This court has affirmed that our plaintiffs — and all gay and lesbian Virginians — no longer have to live as second-class citizens who are harmed and demeaned every day.”

Gay marriage proponents have won more than 20 legal decisions around the country since the U.S. Supreme Court last year struck down a key part of the federal Defense of Marriage Act. Those rulings remain in various stages of appeal.

More than 70 cases have been filed in all 31 states that prohibit same-sex marriage. Nineteen states and the District of Columbia allow such marriages.

The Virginia lawsuit was filed by Timothy Bostic and Tony London of Norfolk, who were denied a marriage license, and Carol Schall and Mary Townley of Chesterfield County. The women were married in California and wanted their marriage recognized in Virginia, where they are raising a 16-year-old daughter.

Two other same-sex couples, Joanne Harris and Jessica Duff of Staunton and Christy Berghoff and Victoria Kidd of Winchester, filed a similar lawsuit in Harrisonburg and were allowed to intervene in the case before the appeals court.

In 2006, Virginians voted 57 percent to 43 percent to approve the constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. Virginia laws also prohibit recognition of same-sex marriages performed in other states.