THAT DOESN'T MEAN WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS

Do you jihad? You're American, right? You're probably a great jihader and you don't even know it. Fox News commenter Dr. Keith Ablow, "forensic psychiatrist and author of thrillers," wants you to unleash your patriotic jihad potential in accordance with his understanding of jihad, which he got from MerriamWebster.com.

A BUNCH OF GHOSTS REPORT

The Ouija board is so simple and iconic that it looks like it comes from another time, or maybe another realm. The game is not as ancient as it was designed to look, but those two arched rows of letters have been spooking people for over 125 years. Actually, the roots of the board go back even farther, according to Ouija historian Robert Murch. To understand where Ouija boards (generically called "talking boards") come from, you have to go back to middle of the 1800s, to three sisters in New York.

CONSENT BRO

Ian Tolino stands in the fraternity basement in College Park, Md., facing 57 brothers. They sit in a half-oval around him, shoulders hunched, fiddling with phones. He recognizes this posture, the collective eye-roll: "Why do I have to be here?" He felt the same way, three years ago, when some guy visited his fraternity to talk about rape.

WHO SPONSORS 'CRINGE?'

Googling the infectious disease will return some useful information about the epidemic — the Center for Disease Control website is clearly labeled with a red heading, the news feed is responsibly curated, and links below direct users to the World Health Organization, Wikipedia, and CNN. But because Google is in the ad business, and because corporations can’t resist a good marketing opportunity, Lysol comes first.

BREAKING AWAY

An elite marathon is a competition, but it is also a collaboration. For much of the race, the runners work together, drafting behind each other as they move through the streets as a pack. Eventually someone breaks away, but that usually doesn’t happen until the last quarter of the race. Those who try earlier tend to get swallowed up by the main pack, and are never heard from in the race again.

THERE WAS A HUGE HOLE IN THIS THEORY

Back in 1818, some 500 heads of state, scientific societies, and universities got what could generously be called one of the more singular letters they’d ever received. The immediate giveaway, perhaps, was the attached document proving the sanity of the sender, an American eccentric named John Symmes.

THIS GUY 'COULD EVEN.' OUR APOLOGIES

While we always strive to bring you factual and accurate blogs, videos, and listicles, sometimes errors slip by us. In our “13 Hedgehogs Who Need A Vacation” piece we published last week, there were eight mistakes that we would like to now correct. We apologize to our readers, and we promise more stringent oversight in the future.

WIDOW BACH WAS THE MOTHER OF HARMONY

Anna Magdalena led a strenuous and stressful life. A gifted singer and musician, she married an egotistical and obstinate genius who believed the world should revolve around him, and complained when it didn’t; she worked constantly and loyally to advance the family’s business, which was music; she was pregnant every year from 1723 to 1737, bearing 13 children, seven of whom died in youth. She may have also done some of her husband's best work.