OC's Scariest People 2014! Scary People to Avoid in the Dark!

By OC Weekly Staff Wed., Oct. 29 2014 at 2:05 PM

Illustration: D. W. Frydendall, Design: Dustin Ames

By Gustavo Arellano, Matt Coker, LP Hastings, Charles Lam, R. Scott Moxley, Gabriel San Román and Nick Schou

Ever heard of the children's books Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark? Neither had we, but the tales so spooked Weekly art director Dustin Ames as a kid that he asked if we could illustrate some of this year's scariest people in the same sparse, spooky style immortalized by the series. Why not? Cheaper than therapy!

Anyhoo, behold this year's roster of OC's worst people. Note that many inanimate objects made the list this year, then ponder that anomaly. And don't forget to visit our Navel Gazing blog, on which we'll reveal the latest inductee into the Bob Dornan Scary OC Hall of Fame!

1. ANTI-VAXXERS
A bunch of South County housewives feel they don't have to vaccinate their children because some mommy blog told them not to, so California saw its worst outbreak of measles in decades this past year. Unlike stolen purses or shoes, this isn't something they can blame on Mexicans, as they're one of the highest vaccinated groups in the county. So, conservatives? You're more likely to get a deadly infectious disease driving down Oso Parkway than you are hanging out with Liberians--try to blame THAT on Obama.
Mitigating Factor: Anti-vaxxers tend to be cute, so . . .

D. W. Frydendall

2. "FUCK THE POLICE" HAT
Who knew a simple snapback could shut down local government? But that's what happened at the Oct. 7 Santa Ana City Council meeting, when a man calling himself Bijan sat in the council chambers quietly wearing a hat with silver-and-black embroidery spelling out "Fuck the Police." That was enough for Mayor-for-Life Miguel Pulido to lose his shit, demanding Bijan remove it. When he didn't, the Don Papi responded by ordering everyone out of chambers, then canceling--not rescheduling--the meeting after a standoff with more than a dozen residents who refused to leave. His actions prompted the ACLU to send the council a letter reminding them about the First Amendment. All that over a hat!
Mitigating Factor: The cap is available for purchase online and vegan-friendly--see, anarchists don't hate all piggies.

3. ALAN LONG
When Murrieta made national news this summer for turning away busloads of undocumented Central American teens, Mayor (and Anaheim fire-battalion chief) Alan Long justified his City of Hate by saying he wouldn't "stand for our country's laws to be violated." Wonder if that's what Long thought as he plowed into the back of a vehicle earlier this month, injuring four Murrieta High cheerleaders. Police arrested Long at the scene for failing a field sobriety test; Long disputes he was driving borracho. The subsequent uproar forced Long to resign from his office, although his public remorse is just for show: He's running for re-election this November.
Mitigating Factor: Proved that God not only loves karma, but he also loves embarrassing racist losers.

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sweetliberty17761776 topcommenter

what does Longs f up have to do with illegals coming in to the country

nada

you're just too weak to place blame with each person so you try and deflect your groups illegal activities with this

try and man up or transgender up and take responsibility

sweetliberty17761776 topcommenter

so if a white person was wearing a f the gangbangers you would consider that a sign of disrespect towards your family

sweetliberty17761776 topcommenter

measles vs obama bringing in Ebola to America

yup

leftists destroy America

your leftist war on women continues as you attack moms

mhip

Boudreau is a hero to be celebrated.....suckit Teemu.

Sharona Toranto

Jim Smith, if you have gone out to the OCGP they built more than that and produced some revenue, but we should have a veterans cemetery, which Choi's rep has declared he doesn't want, and we shouldn't have a High School near a jail nor near Toxic Waste which the current majority supports

shawnmiars

Gustavo I assume this means we are in agreement Aaron Kushner will get the idiot of OC award 2014 since he did not make the list?

Kathy Lambing

wow

Jim Smith

I'm not so sure that the alternative of voting for the people who pissed away $200 million of our money to produce a balloon ride and a soccer field is the answer either.

justiceday

The people we need to avoid most are the US military and especially the marines at Pendleton!

http://www.theusmarinesrape.com/FaceBook.html

RocketJ

From Wiki: In astrophysics, spaghettification sometimes referred to as the noodle effect is the vertical stretching and horizontal compression of objects into long thin shapes.

So how exactly did Josh Hamilton's career spaghettify as he does not look any taller and is it Mike Scioscia who is emitting the non-homogenous gravitational field?

The only reason I can fathom for Steve Coburn to be on the list is for the very cool accompanying graphic. Scary? Nope.

T-Rack's minions made the list but he did not. Is he already enshrined in OC's scary hall of fame and therefore ineligible for consideration?

Josh Gomez

How could you not know of these books lol scariest short stories ever

FFO1939

Mitigating Factor: OC Weekly can terminate him.

FFO1939

OC Weekly, you forgot to add one more person!! Gustavo Arellano wearing those creppy glasses and his toothless smile!! Also, being a Mexican or Chicano racist!!

Honeyman

As usual, another say nothing vendetta against the people Gustavo doesn't like. Rather than making an actual statement and possible influencing some individuals who read this rag and don't know how important it is to get a despicable asshole like Jim Righeimer out of office on the issue before such an important election, Gustavo can get his girly fit out on Brad Johnson for his bad reviews on tacos.