The stereotypes of what STEM professionals “should” look like are so ingrained into our culture that most parents don’t even notice the differences in how they treat their sons and daughters.

When [men in the industry are all that parents ever see], they can often either consciously or subconsciously reproduce the same social norms in their children. So, in turn, girls who may be just as passionate about dissecting a squid or engineering a paper rocket as boys may eventually begin to confine themselves to explorations of history or literature instead.

Of course, not all parents are overtly sexist toward their daughters’ interests in STEM subjects. But even those who fail to support young girls’ expressed curiosity about science or math contribute to a social dynamic that teaches young girls to pursue other topics.

When I was a teen I had a partner who was, at times, verbally abusive. He made threats that he would have his family members physically attack me if I “acted out.” Because his abuse didn’t leave me with bruises, I thought it was part of a deep love that sometimes hurts. His threats were peppered with whispers of love and plans for the future. Mistakenly I thought we’d be able to work it out. It wasn’t until he punched a wall next to my head, resulting in a boxer’s fracture and a cast, that I realized I should start planning my exit strategy. When I found out that I was pregnant, at 19, I knew I had to get out. I couldn’t put a child through the stress and violence I experienced.

Having an abortion was one of the ways I was able to leave the relationship and make changes in my life. It was the best decision for me. I will never apologize for that.

With the prevalence of abuse in relationships, my story is common.