This is my first St. Patrick’s Day with a baby so naturally I bought her the traditional “Kiss Me I’m Irish” onesie and one for myself. I’ve also put a green ribbon on my pug and he’s been looking at me mournfully all morning because apparently being festive and celebrating your heritage is THE WORST THING EVER to happen to a dog. (Yes, they’re both in a dog bed. It’s not like they can both fit in the crib.)

For whatever reason Austin doesn’t have a St. Patrick’s Day parade. I guess it’s still perfectly acceptable to discriminate against the Irish in Texas. However the traditional holiday parades elsewhere have proven quite controversial after organizers barred LGBT participants from marching and holding pro-gay signs. Let me get this straight. It’s perfectly fine for grown men to dress as leprechauns and wax nostalgic about Danny Boy but gays are just too gay.

In NYC, however, the parade went on without Guinness, which withdrew its sponsorship due to the ban, saying that Guinness “has a strong history of supporting diversity and being an advocate for equality for all.” This, my friends, is huge. You can’t have a St. Patrick’s Day event without Guinness. That’s like not dying the Chicago River green, an idea originally developed by plumbers to check for illegal discharges to the sewer system. Gross. Sam Adams and Heineken also pulled out of parades. This is such a shame. Now where will all the impossibly tiny Shriners in impossibly tiny cars go?

So feel free to drink Guinness today. I, for one, will be drinking Harp because Guinness is simply too heavy for me. The last time I had a Guinness was when I was studying in Galway and halfway through I fell off the bar stool and was outed as an American, shaming my ancestors forever. Again.

Tags: irish, st. patrick's day   Posted General |