Prozac Dalmation
Which slutty drug rep from Eli Lilly is fuck*ing someone at the FDA? The FDA has just approved an antidepressant called ‘Reconcile’ for… depressed dogs. It’s an SSRI that tastes like snausages.
Technically, Prozac for Dogs has been approved for the treatment of CANINE SEPARATION ANXIETY and will be pushed to veterinarians across the country. “Lilly research shows that 10.7 million, or up to 17 percent of U.S. dogs suffer from separation anxiety,” said Steve Connell, manager of animal health at Lilly. “We’re thrilled that our first product for dogs can help restore the human-pet bond, which can be compromised when dogs suffer from separation anxiety.”
Did he really say that with a straight face? In the pipeline… doggie viagra for wiener dogs.
According to internal Lilly studies featuring 600 dogs, 73 percent of dogs on Reconcile showed marked improvement in separation anxiety as opposed to the control group. At least 15 of those dogs not receiving Reconcile killed themselves. As always, there are adverse reactions. The most common include vomiting, shaking, diarrhea, aggression, seizures and suicidal thoughts.
Connell said that separation anxiety is commonly misunderstood by humans. When a dog is left alone for even short periods of time, the dog can engage in undesirable behavior. Like what? Chewing on furniture? Peeing in slippers? It’s called BEING A DOG. This particular canine mental illness can come with comorbid disorders such as anorexia, depression and the inexplicable desire to roll over and get its belly scratched.
May 1st, 2007 at 4:26 pm
My dog won’t eat when I’m away. Do you think this drug will help with her anoREXia? Those bitch magazines she’s been reading have her body image all out of whack.
May 1st, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Dogs are like children. Give them the unconditional love and attention they deserve early on and you can one day go to happy hours again without worrying about them eating your shoes.
May 1st, 2007 at 4:31 pm
I had to give my dog antidepressants. But, she did witness my other dog’s violent death and was a tad upset about it. I thought it was ridiculous before I had to give it to her. But it worked and she went back to being her regular sweet self.
/It’s because I don’t have children.
May 1st, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Re: 2. lush
i think my dogs are happy because i take them to happy hours *with* me.
/it’s because i don’t have children, either.
May 1st, 2007 at 4:42 pm
Can you grind up the pills for TJ’s dog?
May 1st, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Re: 5. JohnCornyn’sBoxTurtle
He’s already quite content in powered form. Never been happier.
May 1st, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Re: 4. laura
I’ll start taking my child to happy hour when she can be our designated driver.
/Pinkie Swear–That is just tragic, but I’m glad your pup recovered. Better living through chemistry: It’s not just for humans.
May 1st, 2007 at 5:15 pm
Re: 3. Pinkie Swear
Your “dog” was a tad upset? Your “dog” went back to being her regular sweet self?
/is one of us supposed to be the dog in this scenario?
May 1st, 2007 at 5:31 pm
I heard that dogs who have abortions suffer from depression.
May 1st, 2007 at 5:36 pm
Re: 9. JohnCornyn’sBoxTurtle
Especially those forced to view the ultrasound.
May 1st, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Re: 10. Don’t Mess w/ Pink
That there is a lil’ something we like to call “Comedy Gold,” Kiddos.
May 1st, 2007 at 6:13 pm
phew,finally. Your dog chewing a shoe is normal. Your dalmation/alien chewing your bronze baby shoes, pager & battery and the entire living room suite while you’re at the grocery store means its time to medicate.
May 1st, 2007 at 6:56 pm
This would be most excellent for my dog. I am just worried that I would be tempted to dip into his stash. And, he might get really irritated with me.
May 1st, 2007 at 6:58 pm
At least the owners using/abusing this drug are paying for it out of their own pocket. I don’t begrudge Lilly for going after a market (hey, I just spent $30 this afternoon for a “fountain” so my fur child can have running water at will–as opposed to my dripping the faucet for him).
I do object to marketing drugs where society underwrites the cost via public medical programs and group insurance.
May 1st, 2007 at 7:09 pm
My dog gets seriously depressed when he gets a haircut. He goes through periods of anorexia until his hair grows a little. He gets really attached to his ‘do; it’s a form of self expression. Poor baby!
And, I’m almost positive that he’s gay. Is there a medication for that?! …just kidding…
May 1st, 2007 at 8:05 pm
Maybe my cat needs a stimulant (Ritalin?). Sleeps all day, won’t chase mice, couldn’t care less when I get home . . .
May 1st, 2007 at 9:37 pm
Re: 12. leftyscribbler
I medicated my dog’s propensity for wooden fence consumption and subsequent escape with 115v AC electrical current. In gratitude he ate my metal back door.
I had a Veterinarian friend who medicated his kids with vet drugs. The dehorned son went to A&M also…go figure.
May 2nd, 2007 at 9:05 am
I have an inexplicable desire to roll over and get my belly scratched.
/actually it’s quite explicable
//thanks for the Tequila lurkette
May 2nd, 2007 at 9:42 am
What does this have to do with Rudy Giuliani?
May 2nd, 2007 at 10:15 am
Re: 18. Lefty
Taking tequila with lurkette and still posting at 9:05 am? Impressive.
/jealous
May 2nd, 2007 at 10:57 am
After all of these thunderstorms I’m ready to try anything on our idiot dog — Reconcile, canine prozac, cinder block to the cranium, you name it.
May 2nd, 2007 at 5:45 pm
15. Try letting your dog keep his tail “do”. It helps their self esteem but cuts down on the heat and bad hair days.
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Re: 10. Don’t Mess w/ Pink
When it comes to dogs, “ultrasound” means one of those high-pitched whistles.