I just got back from Dallas where I spoke on a panel about nonprofit advocacy, grant-making, and the legislative agenda, sponsored by the Boone Family Foundation. As in The Container Store Boones. As in stacking bins and baskets and pristine organizational skills. Luckily I didn’t bring up the fact that my closet’s from IKEA.

Now, you may be asking yourself, what could Eileen possibly know about advocacy, grant-making, and the legislative agenda. But the joke’s on you because, as usual, I asked to speak last, which means I just take notes while the others are speaking and I change a few of the verbs and nouns and throw a girlish giggle in between. (Sadly, my girlish giggle days are behind me and have given way to the hyena-like hysterics of a grown woman hyped up on too much coffee.)

I was on the same Southwest flight this morning as Rep. Rafael Anchia, Texas Weekly‘s own Ross Ramsey, and Judge Scott McCown of CPPP. I was in the B boarding group but luckily I was able to score the middle seat between Anchia and the Judge by posing as a federal air marshal and forcibly removing the passenger already sitting there. (Ramsey was in the C group so I believe he was stowed underneath the beverage cart.) While they discussed the North Texas rail, I pulled out yesterday’s “Week in Review” in the hopes that they would ask me to read some of the columns aloud. The awkward silence became more awkward when I asked Judge McCown to spot me a fiver for a bloody mary.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to compete with CPPP pie charts during the presentation, but I figured I could hold my own with Anchia and Ramsey. I was mistaken. At least I didn’t have to follow Anchia, what with his built-in fan club of Dallas women. When it was my turn, I spoke about messaging and multimedia platforms and Facebook and Twitter and stopped when I heard someone snoring. That took about three minutes of my allotted 15, and I ended by nodding my head confidently and sitting back down.

On the return flight, I tried to engage Ross and Rafael in a rousing game of Who Wants to be a Slumdog House Committee Chair, but I was the only one brave enough to start spouting off my predictions. At one point, they had to correct me on someone who’s not even a member anymore. Oh, like I’m supposed to commit the member names to memory or something? Dorks.

My committee chair picks are what I like to call “wild cards,” since they are not part of the conventional wisdom and have no basis in fact or reality. Appropriations: John Smithee; State Affairs: Sylvester Turner; Calendars: Charlie Geren; Civil Practices: Tommy Merritt. And then the flight attendant asked me to keep my screechy voice down so she could continue to sing those dreadful little Southwest ditties.

Tags: media, rafael anchia, social media   Posted General |