Single White Females
OH MY GOD IS IT BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT MARRIED?!
We all know that single women are bitter because they haven’t found a husband and they’re tired of watching The Proposal for the ninth time with their cats and telling friends that they’d rather be alone than in a loveless relationship which is totally not true because at least they’d have a date to weddings, an event that they will never experience for themselves. That said, support for the Democratic party among unmarried women has been waning, mostly because they’ll switch parties in a second to get a man.
In 2008, single women supported Obama by a 70 to 29 percent margin. (Meanwhile the majority of married women voted for McCain. Married women tend to be more conservative because of their values.) This demographic represents 26 percent of the voting population. But in the 2010 midterm elections, more than half of white single women voted…Republican. What could this mean for 2012? It means that single women have decided to inflict their deep emotional pain upon all of us. Apparently poor turnout among single women in the 2000 election may have cost Al Gore the presidency. THANKS FOR THAT.
Listen, I know you’re hurting. Life hasn’t been fair to you. I get it. But if you don’t go out and vote for Obama, not only will you be terminally single, you’ll be terminally single with a really bad president.
October 25th, 2011 at 12:15 pm
What about married women who don’t take their husbands’ last names the way god and Anita Perry intended? I don’t trust them.
eileen Reply:
October 25th, 2011 at 12:29 pm
Seriously. I hate those women. At the very least they could hyphenate.
Alan Reply:
October 25th, 2011 at 6:42 pm
You mean like Shelley Sekula-Gibbs?
October 25th, 2011 at 12:25 pm
I think the smart single women in 2010 were hanging out at places with more promising possibilities than angry tea baggers with walkers.
October 25th, 2011 at 1:28 pm
I did as you said and hugged a single woman at the office. I am currently undergoing HR sensitivity training as a result. I guess politics has no place at work.
Don't Mess w/ Pink Reply:
October 25th, 2011 at 3:31 pm
Ha! (Yeah, that’s it. Politics.) You’ll learn. Never, ever do what Eileen says.)
October 25th, 2011 at 1:42 pm
You’ve got a lot of balls picking on us single gals when you voted in the R primary. Is it because you’re MARRIED?
I kid, I kid. I think I actually voted for Kay in the R primary last year, too. I wonder if that didn’t skew the numbers? At least in Texas? Regardless, unless Obama sacrifices a baby in front of me, I’m still voting for him in 2012.
eileen Reply:
October 25th, 2011 at 3:36 pm
You’re not fooling anyone. You’d still vote for Obama despite the baby sacrifice (purely ceremonial).
October 25th, 2011 at 2:14 pm
For some reason I want to quote that old saying “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”
October 25th, 2011 at 2:54 pm
What if they vote for Hillary?
October 25th, 2011 at 4:25 pm
I’ve thought about crossing over and voting in the GOP Primary (cross-voting, cross-dressing – if I can do one I can do the other) but I’m worried about urping on the voting machine when confronted by the names of candidates.
treehugger Reply:
October 26th, 2011 at 11:18 am
Urping? Haven’t heard that in a while. Having been an election auditor at a mostly R county, you won’t do much damage if you urp (puke, hurl, vomit) on the voting machine. Very few voters use them. The good news is that the process to tabulate the manual votes takes awhile and comp time is always welcome. Plus, the SOS accountants don’t make you keep receipts for your per diem so you can actually tip your waitstaff. Great gig, Very informative.
October 26th, 2011 at 1:02 pm
Just a warning — if you vote in the GOP primary, you are likely to get GOP phone calls and mail. I know this because a bunch of gops voted in the Dem primary one year, and they got annoying calls from me. It wasn’t until I was an election judge at the next election and saw them voting on the GOP side of the room that I realized that some of my neighbors were smarmy worms.
October 26th, 2011 at 1:07 pm
I think a large percentage of married women vote Republican because when they were single they didn’t vote and then when they got married their husbands “encouraged” them to vote Republican. A particularly poignant example: my sister-in-law won’t vote because she knows that if she votes for someone other than the GOP candidate, my brother will be furious with her. Since she has no choice, she doesn’t bother. Which is, you know, so very GOP.
West Texas Hillbilly Reply:
October 26th, 2011 at 1:23 pm
Your sister lives in Saudi Arabia? I didn’t know they have a GOP there.