Seeing Green

December 21, 2007 - 4:09 pm 14 Comments

So I’m off for the holiday season after a week of dealing with a very non-cooperative blog. Bad blog, BAD BLOG! I expect that I will celebrate Christmas much like I have in the past: drinking pinot from the bottle, eating my nephews’ and nieces’ chocolate santas while tears run down their faces, opening presents I bought for myself, spending hours in the sauna in my fleece pants, and wearing festive ornament earrings. That glow in the dark. Like cloned cats.

This Christmas, like every Christmas, I will still be searching for that special gift wrapped in green foil paper. When my sisters and I were little, and my parents took us to the same creepy molesting Santa Claus each year, we would receive an extra special present from Santa (don’t be crude, I’m already psychologically damaged enough as it is) once we learned to recite the alphabet.

Of course, my sisters learned the alphabet much earlier than I did, because I spent much of my childhood in speech therapy classes with all the other speech-impedimented outcasts. Eventually, I did it. The whole alphabet, from A to Z. And Santa told me that there would be a present wrapped in green paper in the laundry room, just for me, on Christmas morning.

I couldn’t sleep at all that night, and in the morning, I ran downstairs and…

Now I know what you’re thinking. That this is going to end badly, and I probably never got over it, and that’s why I grew up to become a bitter woman. Oh, ye of little faith.

I ran downstairs and… there it was. On top of the washing machine. My green present.

I don’t even remember what was inside. But I can remember the feeling and, at least for one last Christmas, I still believed.

To you and yours and ours and theirs, have a good one. See you in the new year.

14 Responses to “Seeing Green”

  1. Don't Mess w/ Pink Says:

    What do you mean, “at least for one last Christmas, I still believed?” In Santa Clause? You no longer believe in Santa Clause?

    “Yes, Eileen, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no Eileens. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.”

    http://www.newseum.org/yesvirginia/

    Couldn’t have said it better myself.

  2. FledTheAsylum Says:

    Oh, hey we’re shutting down? And I was just about to write something.

    Happy Christmas and whatnot to all, and to all a good something or other…as appropriate, based on your own cultural and religious preferences.

  3. Commie Pinko Says:

    “Merry Christmas, You Wonderful Old Building and Loan!”

  4. LegeBoy Says:

    Merry Christmas everyone! Don’t shoot your eye out!

  5. bloggarian chant Says:

    Merry Christmas from all us chanters.

  6. Pink Oilman Says:

    God bless us, every one (no exceptions)

  7. lush Says:

    Is anyone else (drinking) at work today?

    /Merry Whatever ITPT!

  8. Pink Lady Says:

    OMG two hours until santa comes! Somebody make me a sandwich!!

  9. The Best Ever Death Metal Band in Denton Says:

    I can’t believe you didn’t tell us what was in that green tinfoil. Totally ruined my Christmas.

  10. Perry's Mollycoddler Says:

    I could be that special gift…wrapped in green foil paper…*just* in green. foil. paper.

  11. bloggarian chant Says:

    Re: 9. The Best Ever Death Metal Band in Denton

    she could not remember…….trauma…or……wine…….

    Wine , I say……

    TMW as in TMI.

  12. liquiddaddy Says:

    I’m sending you all kisses, and wishing everybody a healthy and prosperous new year.

    Please remember this about mid-year when I’m overtaken by frequent bouts of disagreeable political crumudgenry. I have a feeling my election pick will be about as popular as Ron Paul at a Brist.

    LD

  13. wyocwby Says:

    Re: 12. liquiddaddy
    Ron Paul at a Brist, huh….oh the images that casts to my sick mind LOL

  14. liquiddaddy Says:

    wyocwby,

    Poyfect!

    Shalom!

    LD