Latte is the New Cigarette
I’ve already documented my distaste for local coffee shops and my preference for corporate coffee. Yes, there’s a Starbucks on every corner, and if there isn’t a Starbucks, there’s a soon-to-be-Starbucks- acquisition Seattle’s Best.
And children are the new caffeine-addicted freaks who call Starbucks home. (P.S. Get out of my house and take your Horizon organic milk with you.)
Starbucks has insisted for years that it does not market its delicious beverages to children, despite the subliminal messages on Venti cups tailored for 15-year-old boys that “coffee gets you laid” and “Frappuccinos are a turn-on.” The 15-year-old girls get cups that say “girls who don’t drink coffee die alone” and “decaf is for brunettes.”
Speaking of cups, just once, I would love for the barista to spell my name right. It’s not Elaine. It’s not Ilene. It’s not ‘Gorgeous.’ Is EILEEN really that uncommon of a name? (And yes, I’ve heard the song before. Just start steaming that milk, big guy.)
Personally I see nothing wrong with children drinking coffee. I think it should start in the womb. Pregnant women giving up coffee and wine and blogging makes no sense to me.
September 11th, 2007 at 9:53 pm
I did not abstain from either coffee/tea or vino with child number two and I believe that’s why she’s she so easy compared with number one. They’re happier in utero and therefore come out with a better attitude toward life.
September 12th, 2007 at 8:22 am
never touched the stuff
September 12th, 2007 at 8:55 am
Thanks for the warning. If 15 y-o’s are hanging out at Starbucks, I’ll go elsewhere….like I’m going to pay for $4 coffee anyway.
My teen prefers energy drinks, plus they get plenty of buzz from tea and soft drinks.
September 12th, 2007 at 9:27 am
Q: What’s a good name for a woman with only one leg?
A: Eileen
Q: What’s a good name for a Chinese woman with only one leg?
A: Irene
September 12th, 2007 at 9:44 am
That’s how you spell your name? I always thought it was Eyleene
September 12th, 2007 at 10:09 am
No corporate coffee! Gimme old hippies and long lines!
September 12th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Re: 5. mcblogger
No my first name ain’t baby.
September 12th, 2007 at 10:41 am
Re: 7. Pink Lady
It’s Janet, right?
September 12th, 2007 at 11:34 am
Miss Smith, if you’re nasty….
September 12th, 2007 at 11:47 am
The city of Seattle must be completely empty of teenagers willing to take minimum wage jobs slinging lattes. What? You mean all those kids working “Corporate Coffee” joints are really from Austin? But, they make them send their paychecks to Seattle, right? No? They get to keep their tips and pay here in our local economy?
I felt so morally superior when I took my $4 to a budding chain like Austin Java. Then I noticed none of the local java joints would or could do things like give our elementary school free coffee for the PTA bake sales. The local Starbucks adopted the school and even sent barrista’s (barristers?) over to serve it up at the fall carnival.
/Liking Starbucks is the new weird.
// I still think their coffee is over-roasted.
September 12th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
Re: 10. the bureaucrat
I agree. Their coffee is horrible.
September 12th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
Re: 10. the bureaucrat
DCat, is that you? Have you gone Prince on us and decided to be just “the bureaucrat” from here on out?
September 12th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Re: 12. lush
I was wondering the same thing …