Clearly, I’m Not Rapoport
It takes two days for a bruised ego to heal.
On Friday night, I attended the Legacy Dinner honoring Bernard Rapoport, benefiting CPPP. The keynote speaker was President Bill Clinton. Somehow, I had been granted a free pass into the event (and by ‘granted,’ I mean ‘badgered event insiders to the point of harassment’). I was told that I’d be seated at the press table. Me! At the press table! Although I knew my presence there would be greeted with the usual “oh-god-don’t-make-eye-contact-she’ll-try-to-make-small-talk” looks, I didn’t care. I ironed a skirt, BRUSHED MY HAIR, and waited for Lawrence Collins and Andy Brown (paid ticketholders) to pick me up.
When we arrived at the Palmer Events Center, I went up to the table to get my ticket. They checked, looked at me (somewhat disdainfully, I might add) and asked if it could be under another name. My cheeks started burning, and I hadn’t even been drinking yet. “Um, I think I might be seated at the press table?” I said uncertainly, in a small voice usually reserved for 6-year-olds. “Oh, the PRESS table (slight snort)… follow me.” The woman walked me into the room, past the dining tables with fresh linens, floral centerpieces and bottles of wine, past the camera men in jeans and right to… the press table.
Lawrence and Andy? The fancy table with the mousse parfait. Me? The press table. No tablecloth. No fancy dinner. No wine. Instead, boxed dinners. Iced tea. I thought about running. I felt like such a fool.
Who did I think I was, waltzing in here like I’m an FOB? I didn’t even deserve to be with the press – they were on their laptops looking like, you know, reporters. I had a wrinkled up $20 that Lawrence had pushed into my urchin hand before he walked off to where the beautiful people sat. That bought me two thimble-sized glasses of white wine. I might as well have been a caterer. I think Bruce Gibson asked me to refresh his drink. I did end up eating the entire boxed dinner, including my chocolate chunk cookie that John Moritz of the Star-Telegram was shamelessly eyeing (to be fair, he only got oatmeal raisin).
Clinton spoke for about 18 minutes, eager to spend the rest of his weekend in Austin with George Soros and Gueros. After the event had ended, Clinton made his way to the door, secret service men in tow.
It had been a rough night, but I wasn’t going to leave empty handed (not counting the floral arrangement I swiped off one table). I was getting my picture of Clinton. I had to elbow quite a few starry-eyed blue haired ladies out of the way. One of them even threw her girdle at him.
So THAT’S what gets you noticed. (Worked for Monica.) (OH NO I DIDN’T!)
(Sidebar: Apparently Clinton has been making friendship bracelets in his spare time.)
May 21st, 2006 at 10:51 pm
Are those Sun Chips?
May 21st, 2006 at 11:38 pm
Stop complaining. I’m sure the pasta salad was awesome.
/I’m sorry, but what is with the box lunch pasta salads? They taste like tin in vinagrette. Nasty.
May 22nd, 2006 at 1:26 am
Wow. This is why I read ITPT. Living vicariously through Ms. Lady. Don’t worry, you’ll always be an FOB to us…
Billy Jeff actually has a very touching story about his braclet which I can’t fully recall right now. Something about a woman in a village in Colombia congratulating him on welfare reform or something.
Also, a question: Is that the back of Brewster McCracken’s blonde-ass head in third picture? That’s why I voted against him. I’m tired of looking at his hair.
May 22nd, 2006 at 8:41 am
Since when are Secret Service guard dogs allowed to wear pink ties? (third photo)
/PL must have Photoshopped that for thematic continuity.
May 22nd, 2006 at 8:54 am
That would be fourth photo. Never learned to count.
May 22nd, 2006 at 9:27 am
Bill Clinto did go hang out with Soros and the other billionaires at Barton Creek on Saturday. Gave a great speech.
May 22nd, 2006 at 10:08 am
Re: 3. trza
Are you sure this woman in the Colombian village didn’t congratulate him on his massive perch catch that he reeled in down there?
May 22nd, 2006 at 10:17 am
Re: 6. Boddhisattva
I’m surprised they didn’t call me to park cars.
May 22nd, 2006 at 10:21 am
PL actually came up and tried to steal the flowers from my girlfriend at our table. It was funnnnyyy…
The tragedy of the night was all the un-drank bottles of wine. I finished the ones at our table, and started to just walk around and pour from other bottles, but the wait-staff started looking like they’d take me with them when they get deported in a month.
/they needed the wine for power-washing
May 22nd, 2006 at 10:29 am
Re: 7. BlackIsTheNewPink
Actually, I think it may have been the whole Rwanda thing.
May 22nd, 2006 at 10:37 am
Re: 9. the wizard
Rimshot.
May 22nd, 2006 at 10:41 am
HAH! Loser!
May 22nd, 2006 at 10:44 am
Imagine if you had asked to sit at the blogger table… It was probably under the press table.
May 22nd, 2006 at 11:02 am
The blogger table is conveniently located at the picnic tables at the burger joint down the street…. It’d be perfect for bloggers if the joint got a liquor license….
May 22nd, 2006 at 11:47 am
I’m glad to know that Lawrence Collins and Andy Brown are stepping out on the town together and are willing to make it public. Which one is Ennis Del Mar and which one is Jack Twist?
May 22nd, 2006 at 12:45 pm
Yeah some Columbian children made him that bracelet right before he left office.
Unfortunately shortly afterwards, Lance Armstrong found their village and enslaved them into making his yellow plastic bands. For 3 cents an hour.
Clinton talks about the bracelet at the end of his memoirs… which is probably why no one knows its background.
May 22nd, 2006 at 1:25 pm
Re: 15. Lavender Flowers
They should be paying Pink Lady for her PR work on their behalf. If it weren’t for this blog I wouldn’t know who Collins is and wouldn’t remember Andy. They owe you PL.
May 22nd, 2006 at 4:45 pm
Re: 16. Cincinnatus
The braclet is a bit much. Too much of a “feeler” thing if you know what I mean. But I guess the chicks dig it. His best accessory to date remains the thong-cigar. Beautiful.
May 22nd, 2006 at 5:15 pm
Not a single comment here about the REAL guest of honor!
B is the only socialist insurance company titan in Waco (Lyndon Olson is a conservative Democratic insurancane titan in Waco)
B also did a ton of good work for the UT System and, as far I know, is liked and admired by everyone who has been lucky enough to cross paths with the gentleman. In contrast, some people don’t care much for Bill Clinton.
May 22nd, 2006 at 5:45 pm
I listened to ‘My Life’ on CD and blubbered like a baby.
May 22nd, 2006 at 7:08 pm
Re: 19. NOITALL
Agreed. Great man.
May 22nd, 2006 at 8:04 pm
Curious…is Integrated Public still operating and is Lawrence still in town? His emails are bouncing…
May 22nd, 2006 at 8:11 pm
[...] Pink Lady at In the Pink Texas has this fabulous post about her experience at the CCCP dinner featuring Bill Clinton this weekend. [...]
May 22nd, 2006 at 10:34 pm
Re: 19. NOITALL
You know, that’s why we love you. Your politics are all over the map in that “I’m a
Texan, try to guess” sort of way. Like the best of our esteemed representatives.
/Too few and far between.
May 22nd, 2006 at 10:53 pm
This motherf-er, for whom, by the way, I have tremendous respect, and admiration, loves bracelets more than ‘tang.
In addition to the one PL caught him in he has at various times sported a Hindu red thread, and one with blue and red stripes.
May 23rd, 2006 at 12:30 pm
Whats his bracelet?
May 23rd, 2006 at 1:21 pm
You’re Welcome btw.
May 24th, 2006 at 9:19 pm
Money. No Class.
August 24th, 2006 at 8:45 am
[...] This [rich anonymous man’s] house was impressive, as you might expect. I joked to Rep. Jim Dunnam and Rep. Elliott Naishtat that “this is almost as big as my house.” And we laughed. And by ‘we,’ I mean, ‘at least I did.’ I recognized B. Rapoport from the Clinton dinner, but he clearly didn’t recognize me or he wouldn’t have run away so fast. Aside from being the only person in attendance with a laptop, I felt like I fit in. Strangers were even teasing me by saying, “No, seriously, you’ll have to leave.” Oh, you guys. [...]