Twitter's Worst Reactions to Michael Sam Signing with the Dallas Cowboys

jerry-jones-papa-johns-rap.jpg
Jerry Jones in simpler times
Football-wise, it seems obvious by now that the Cowboys defense is destined to be so incredibly bad, they could use all the help they can get. By this point, you and I are viable candidates for the Cowboys defense, let alone Michael Sam, a man who, physical pending, will arrive on the Cowboys' practice squad with more preseason sacks and tackles than any defensive lineman already in Valley Ranch.

Still, if there's one place people with "outspoken" opinions love to gather, it's surely Twitter (or possibly the Morning News' comment section), and so, after the longest browse of Twitter we could stomach, we present you to some really tragic attempts at humor, along with some general confusion at the idea someone might be gay like Sam is. It should be said that these were scattered among a lot of balanced opinions, but still.

THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE.

You can tell this man will give a balanced and fair opinion from his Twitter picture.

Words that rhyme do not necessarily share the same properties. This is a verifiable fact.

Ah, the old "my hilarious homophobic friends said it LOL!" defense.



Yes. Lots of people. That's why Twitter was.... WAIT. I GET IT. It was bad.

You can tell this person's edgy because they have an anonymous mask and seem to think they're trolling, but they've been somewhat let down by the Village People reference, which isn't quite cutting edge enough for 4Chan.

I feel like this person has misunderstood the word "couldn't," so their entire premise is faulty.

YOU'RE NOT THE REAL DOUG E. FRESH

Goddammit. Back to rhyming? Really?

Is... is this what you think happens when gay people are employed?



I must have missed that position in my fantasy draft. I'll have to go back now.

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74 comments
leonharris96
leonharris96

Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is wha­ I do...... 


www.c­a­s­h­b­u­z­z­9­0.CoM


DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

.

         Deport the Habitual Criminal Justin Bieber Now !!

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

All you adolescent homophobic dickless wonders know there are lots of gay boys in the NFL already, right? Have been since the beginning. Will be til the end.

Probably some of the same ones you sit on your fat asses glurping down Keystone Light and chicken wings staring at for hours every week on the teevee.

Just because they're afraid to come out and risk losing their million dollar paychecks doesn't mean they're not there.

Sam has bigger balls than the lot of you.


rain391
rain391

Most of this commentary makes me nauseous.  If this is the cohort taking over the country, we might as well all leave now for Canada now.  They are far more civilized.

rubbbrduky
rubbbrduky

This move gives ALL the other NFL teams a serious motivation, because WHO is gonna want to get tackled by Sam. Hey there's a FAG on the play, violation... improper groping after play has stopped.

rubbbrduky
rubbbrduky

Skittles will be the official candy of the Cowboys................ Now they can really TASTE THE RAINBOW....

rubbbrduky
rubbbrduky

Ahhhhhh FUCK, it's the HOMO-ROMO corporation. Well I enjoyed the cowboys for a while at least.

Catbird
Catbird

it'll be tight but he should just fit in

everlastingphelps
everlastingphelps topcommenter

I for one, am glad to see that there are so many new black and hispanic Republicans created out of this.  (Since, you know, only Republicans are homophobes.)

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

Free speech.  The twitters are free to proclaim to the world exactly what they're all about. 

chaswm
chaswm

Well when he is tackled you will hear him holler PILE ON BOYS.

adslfk
adslfk

Whatever you do, YOU STUPID FUCKWAD, give these idiots an exponentially greater voice.


Stupid fuck.

Anonamouse
Anonamouse

As stated in the article, this defense is so bad I'd be more upset if they DIDN'T sign Sam. Seriously, they should pick up any defensive player with a pulse for at least a look-see. I hope he can actually become an NFL-level player with some more work. Probably never be a starter, but hey, there are thousands of players who can say the same. Good luck, Michael.

OxbowIncident
OxbowIncident

Does this mean Jerry Jones and Dale Hansen will make up?

FIREWALKER77
FIREWALKER77

Welcome to cowgirl nation .no more blue and white uniforms . NOW Rainbow football uniforms

dingo
dingo

I am not so sure what the big deal is here.

Everybody knows that Rowdy was the first openly gay man to join the Cowboys organization.

anon-mouse
anon-mouse

The WORST of Twitter is not as full of hate as the BEST of this shit spewing embarrassment to the city of Dallas.

dan.lyons
dan.lyons

The Dallas defense is the worst in the league...they need all the help they can get and probably picked him up cheep. Even if this guy is average it will be a plus...I just hope the media circus stays home....

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

There is a very dark side to Twitter, and it shows just how ugly we can be to each other when it comes to race/sexual relations in 2014.  When I see someone tweet shit like this, I just unfollow them.    

noblefurrtexas
noblefurrtexas

@leonharris96 You might consider staying off the Internet, and using that time to study English.

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

@Donk

Jerry signed him too.

leonharris96
leonharris96

Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is wha­ I do...... 


www.c­a­s­h­b­u­z­z­9­0.CoM


JustSaying
JustSaying

@Montemalone  I wish the Cowboys would have signed Kerry Rhodes last year. He would have been a better addition to the defense then Sam will likely be.

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

@Montemalone

Sam has bigger balls than the lot of you.

Engaging in racial stereotyping is no way to win the argument.

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

@rain391

Someone hasn't been to Canada.

rubbbrduky
rubbbrduky

@rain391 Take your BITCH ASS on over there. I will pay for your one way ticket.... seriously .

Homophobe-ophobic
Homophobe-ophobic

@rubbbrduky Uh, I think the groping is occurring on your sofa, closet-case, as you stare at NFL players in the huddle and try in vain to fight your feelings of arousal.

Homophobe-ophobic
Homophobe-ophobic

@rubbbrduky Bet they don't taste it nearly as well as your mom did last night in the champagne room at Silver City.

jconbur
jconbur

@rubbbrduky I'm sure a few cowboys have enjoyed you on more than one occasion.

JFPO
JFPO

Looks like that vaunted Republican Party "outreach" is finally paying off.

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

@anon-mouse

This shit spewing embarrassment

Are you referring to this blog or your comment? Either way, shit-spewing needs a hyphen.

James080
James080 topcommenter

@Montemalone 

"What's twitter?"


As far as I can tell, twitter is a total fucking waste of time.

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

@TheRuddSki 

what's wrong about Canada?

friendly people, clean cities. great beer, although Tim Hortons coffee sucks.

a bit on the cold side 8 months of the year...

Homophobe-ophobic
Homophobe-ophobic

@rubbbrduky @rain391 If it's anything like your intellect then I know you can't help pay for even a one-way ticket b/c your wallet is bankrupt, you mouth-breather.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@James080 @Montemalone Actually, during the first 3 days in Ferguson after the shooting, the only place I was getting live as it was happening info, was on Twitter, it wasnt until Wesley Lowery and other reporters got arrested, that CNN and MSNBC FOX and others started wall to wall coverage there

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

@mavdog

Nuthin wrong with Canada, wonnerful place, but there are seven assholes strategically located throughout the country, so they're hard to miss.

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

@mavdog

On wicked fast scooters, but you don't need great numbers to rattle Canada.

"Members of Calgary's Muslim community say they're alarmed and frustrated at the news two more Canadians have joined the ranks of the jihadist group ISIS, and they're calling on the federal government to do more about the radicalization of youth."

Like what, kick their asses? Stuff 'em full of sausage and grade B?

jconbur
jconbur

@TheRuddSki The muslims in Calgary are actually cool.  Canada does that to people.  They support gay marriage by over 60%.One of those Muslims is the mayor of Calgary and he was the head of the gay pride parade.

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

@jconbur

Last time I was in Canada, I was cool too.

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