We have read through this new column by walking foreskin Dr. Keith Ablow about four times now in the hope that we will reach a point where it does not make us want to smash our own face with a tack hammer. Sadly, we have failed. So sorry, face! What is the World’s Worst “Psychiatrist” writing ...

An unmanned Antares rocket exploded seconds after liftoff from a facility in Virginia yesterday, with the total loss of a payload of food, water, and scientific experiments bound for the International Space Station. It was pretty spectacular: No one was hurt in the crash, though there was ...

Yesterday we brought you the odd story of the Disappearing John Kasich Video, in which we learned that the Cleveland Plain Dealer’s corporate overlords, Northeast Ohio Media Group, (call ‘em “NEOMG,” because “Ni! OMG!” is fun to say) had removed a video of ...

Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell may not be a scientist, but he is a likable, funny human being-type person. Why, just look at all of his clever ads that prove it! Like this ad, where Mitch McConnell talks about ads. So human! So funny! Mitch McConnell decided not to make a picture of himself ...

Nothing like a little week-before-the-election chaos. In Georgia, where activists say that some 40,000 newly registered voters’ names do not yet appear on the state’s database, a judge denied a petition Tuesday requesting that the secretary of state take immediate action to process ...

Business Insider reports Swedish fuckstick maker Lelo has a new product exclusively for bankers, for whom your standard neoprene (?) 18-inch black double-donger just isn’t sexclusive enough. Here’s why, from the company: “Many bankers want more from their profession and their ...

In a shocking display of Political Correctness Run Amok, a high school in Maryland has banned a student’s father from campus simply because he threatened to “bring down a shit-storm” on the school unless his daughter’s World History class eliminated any mention of Islam, ...

Remember when the Secret Service couldn’t stop visiting prostitutes, and then some poor kid from the White House advance team couldn’t stop visiting prostitutes, and it was obviously Obama’s fault coverupbenghaziworsethanwatergate? Of course you do, that is all you read about ...

Hey, ladies of Wisconsin! With the election that decides his political future coming up next week, your feminist hero Gov. Scott Walker has remembered that you’re allowed to vote, just in time for him to put one of your kind on TV to make a not-at-all disingenuous play for your support. ...

Rachel Maddow was in Denver for a live broadcast Tuesday night. Warning: It’s a little weird to watch the news with an audience applauding and cheering in the background. The highlight (ha!) of the episode was Maddow’s visit to a dispensary of “recreational meds,” aka ...

This guy. Jesus, this guy. Republican Bruce Rauner, who has more money than God and a better wine collection too, wants to be the next dude to get evicted from the Illinois governor’s mansion and sent to prison. (That’s what happens to all of them, right?) His pitch to voters is ...

Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman. Actually, it’s hard most of the time — thanks, MEN — but it’s especially hard if you’re a woman running for office: Last week, a statewide official in Georgia accused Democratic Senate candidate Michelle Nunn of cashing in ...

It’s been one brain-basher of a week, and it’s only Tuesday. So take a minute to watch this terrific little “Best New Thing in the World” clip about how ceremonial first pitches usually suck — there’s even a Washington Post chart to prove it: Of course, all ...

Ever since Our Lady of Meth-Colored Lipstick quit her job to pursue a reality teevee career because only dead fish serve a full term as governor, we have a-hoped and a-prayed that Sarah Palin would one day run for being in office of something again one day. Alas, we’d really quit ...

Pope Francis gave a lot of fundagelicals a sad Monday when he restated a fairly simple tenet of Catholic belief: There’s no contradiction between faith and science, particularly the theory of evolution and the Big Bang. Even though that’s not exactly a new idea in Catholicism ...

We are now into the last week of the midterm campaign, by which point the candidates and parties traditionally have long given up any remaining shreds of dignity or pretense that the election has anything to do with such high-falutin’ concepts as “ideas” or “democracy.” Not that we need to tell ...

So here’s a heck of a thing: The Cleveland Plain Dealer newspaper just loves Ohio Gov. John Kasich. In 2010, it endorsed Kasich, seeing in him a candidate “given to Reagan-style optimism and bold, sometimes questionable, ideas.” The editorial board seems to have stopped ...

Here is Stuart Varney on Fox Business today, yapping his elegant lippy about something, do not care, did not watch. But what is that chyron beneath him (which is, unaccountably, all spelled correctly and without discernible factual errors)? It is “just asking” if cheap gas is bad ...

In the rightwing world, there are a lot of things that are HI-larious and worthy of mockery. Encouraging kids to carve a coal plant in their pumpkins to really stick it to these tree-huggers at the Department of Energy? Funny! Calling a lady jet fighter “boobs on the ground”? Even ...

David Perdue would really like to be Georgia’s next U.S. Senator, but it seems he has a few problems with the ladies, as in he is polling really badly with them, compared to opponent Michelle Nunn. For a state with no Democrats in statewide offices, Georgia is very, very close to sending ...

Since Barack Obama stubbornly insists on listening to public health experts instead of Fox News, it’s become quite clear that wingnuts’ favored non-solution, a ban on travel from West Africa, isn’t going to happen. Happily, a few governors figured out that even if they ...

Get ready to be angry, kids. Monday night, Rachel Maddow interviewed Ryan Boyko, a Yale PhD student in Public Health, who is one of about eight people put on quarantine by order of Connecticut Gov. Dannel P. Malloy. Not because Boyko has Ebola, and not because he has Ebola symptoms, and not ...