THERE WAS A HUGE HOLE IN THIS THEORY

Back in 1818, some 500 heads of state, scientific societies, and universities got what could generously be called one of the more singular letters they’d ever received. The immediate giveaway, perhaps, was the attached document proving the sanity of the sender, an American eccentric named John Symmes.

WIDOW BACH WAS THE MOTHER OF HARMONY

Anna Magdalena led a strenuous and stressful life. A gifted singer and musician, she married an egotistical and obstinate genius who believed the world should revolve around him, and complained when it didn’t; she worked constantly and loyally to advance the family’s business, which was music; she was pregnant every year from 1723 to 1737, bearing 13 children, seven of whom died in youth. She may have also done some of her husband's best work.

SO MUCH CHICKENSHIT IN THIS ARTICLE

Over the years, Obama administration officials have described Netanyahu to me as recalcitrant, myopic, reactionary, obtuse, blustering, pompous, and “Aspergery.” (These are verbatim descriptions; I keep a running list.) But I had not previously heard Netanyahu described as a “chickenshit.”

APPLE IS AN ENABLER

In truth, I didn’t pay a tremendous amount of attention to iOS 8 until a post scrolled by on my Tumblr feed, which disturbed me a good deal: The new iteration of Apple’s OS included Health, an app that — among many other things — contains a weight tracker and a calorie counter. And it can’t be deleted.

SMOOTH CRIMINALS

Although the media often describes the performers as breakdancers, most of the kids who dance on the trains today are actually disciples of litefeet, a form that originated about a decade ago in some of the same playgrounds of the Bronx and Harlem where an older generation invented hip-hop itself. Now, they're being called criminals.

SEX GAMES

Streaming site Twitch is taking a hard line against users whose feeds include "sexually suggestive" outfits, according to the rules of conduct changes that posted Monday. "Nerds are sexy, and you're all magnificent, beautiful creatures, but let's try and keep this about the games, shall we?" reads the update.

HEROIC PROGRESS

Progressive superhero nerds had almost lost faith. It seemed as though they'd never reach the promised land. But lo, the movie-studio gods smiled upon lovers of diversity this day: At long last, Marvel Studios has announced "Black Panther" and "Captain Marvel" movies, and today, geeks across the galaxy completely lost their minds.