Toys “R” Us is selling a Walter White action figure based on the television series “Breaking Bad” for the holidays this year. The figure, according to credible news sources, is apparently sold complete with a bag of money and a bag of blue crystals, and can be purchased along with a figure of the character Pinkman, his accomplice on the show, who also comes with a tray of toy crystal meth.
This was a little hard to believe, particularly after a friend emailed me yesterday that she’d been momentarily fooled by Reductress’s “No-Time Barbie,” who was satirically accompanied by an egg-freezing kit (which we then updated for Twitter). But although the “Breaking Bad” figures can no longer be found on the store’s website, the story appears to be true, unless Walmart is in on the joke. Although the words “toy crystal meth” are not words I ever expected to write, someone, somewhere, thought a meth-dealing action figure was a good idea — and more amusingly, a store whose theme song was once “I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys “R” Us kid,” and whose website coexists with its Babies “R” Us brand thought stocking a little fake crank would be an excellent way to endear itself with its customers.
The social media world, especially as exemplified by Twitter, is equal parts outraged and delighted. Some demand that the store pull the toys from its shelves. Others (lots of others) are pressing “buy now.” Meanwhile, experts are warning of the glamorization of drug culture, and perhaps, as the designated parent representative in this space, I should join in the chorus.
But what to say? Don’t buy these to go alongside your 6-year-old’s Batman? You’ve probably got that. Sticking them in your college student’s stocking? If your child, of whatever age, knows who Walter White is, any arguable damage to be done by this particular somewhat less than glamorous but certainly exciting view of the life of a chemistry teacher turned drug dealer is already done.
As for Toys “R” Us? It does a whole lot more damage with its pink- and blue-themed aisles than it ever will with a couple of misguided action figures. Maybe the real thing to be outraged about is that it’s not stocking a “Weeds”-themed Nancy Botwin doll as well.