Cowboy Joseph Randle Gets an Underwear Endorsement Deal for Stealing Underwear

Categories: Sports

josephrandledallascowboysdotcom.jpg
Dallas Cowboys
Steal some underwear, get some free underwear. Circle of life.
In a move that's a bit like Fiskars hiring Michael Irvin as a spokesman , MeUndies, a Los Angeles-based underwear company, is bringing on Cowboys backup running back Joseph Randle to sell $20 pairs of boxer briefs.

Randle, who is making $495,000 this season, was arrested last Monday for absconding with $39.50 worth of Polo underwear and an $84 tester bottle of Gucci Guilty Black cologne from a Frisco Dillard's. Randle told police he took the items because he didn't want to take the time to pay, which is somehow both the dumbest and most sensible explanation for stealing something.

MeUndies will help Randle defray the cost of the $29,500 -- one game check, the NFL max -- he was fined by the Cowboys after the incident. Dan King, MeUndies head of marketing, also tells ESPN that the company will provide Randle with enough underwear to last him for a long time.

The whole thing is odd, but we certainly can't blame Randle. Now, not only will he not have to face with the headache of dealing with a slow department store clerk, he won't even have to go to the store. Anything (besides more stealing!) that keeps his legs rested for his periodic spelling of DeMarco Murray is fine by us.

As part of the deal, Randle and MeUndies will donate $15,000 worth of stuff to kids who need it. Randle will also make appearances at local schools where he'll teach kids about how they can learn from their mistakes, presumably by getting endorsements for products involved in those mistakes.

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17 comments
Tipster1908
Tipster1908

Between Ebola and the FBI probe, JWP is really off his game. He hasn't made a publicity stunt out of the name of this cologne yet? 

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

He should have stolen a Lamborghini.

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

Guilty Black?


He stole something called Guilty Black?



RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

You heard it here first folks, it was predicted right in these comments he'd be in a commercial because of this.  (although I figured it would be a Dillard's commercial.)

James080
James080

Part of the enforcement deal also requested Randle to wear his pants around his knees so the public can see his MeUndies. Randle doesn't seems the type that would mind at all walking around in public with his ass hanging out. [/sarc]

JustSaying
JustSaying

MeUndies just sounds creepy to me for some reason but I am also a guy that cringes whenever I hear a man say the word "panties".

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

$84 tester bottle?

Dude must really stink.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

Get ready for the MeUndies fanboys.

Bad form all around, here.

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

@JustSaying

It's like USMC calling their garb "cammies", it's just not right.

wcvemail
wcvemail

@TheCredibleHulk

Are those the SMU frat bros who signed up for their bro's "Panty of the Month Club" and don't understand why they're so laughable, since they're so earnest?

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